


Terra Inferno

by REDValentina



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Anal Sex, Blood, Gore, Graphic Description of Corpses, Multi, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Sex, Swearing, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:48:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21963832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/REDValentina/pseuds/REDValentina
Summary: Secretary to the CEO of Hell, Elizabeth Martinez is content with being a pencil pusher for the big man himself. She ignores the longing for excitement and just sticks to organizing all of Satan's meetings. Until one day, when she meets a rather mysterious doctor who sees past her seemingly boring lifestyle and changes her immortal life forever.Alternate Title: "Local Demon is Forced to Work Under a Crazy Boss: You Won't Believe What Happens Next!"A fic I wrote of my OC with special help from TheeWrites_TF2 and Hylla_Tavorian_Aldan. Hylla edited it and Thee wrote some pages for me! Please check them out!
Relationships: Engineer/Pyro (Team Fortress 2), Medic/Spy (Team Fortress 2), OC/Sniper (Team Fortress 2)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	1. Work Transfer

_June, 1969_

* * *

"No, we can't do that."

…

"Because that's illegal."

…

"I understand, Miss Sirena. But we have laws down here too, you know."

…

"Listen, bitch. I'm not telling you again. WE CAN'T ADVERTISE ANGEL GENOCIDE ON EARTH!"

…

"Oh, so it's like that?! Well, you can just take your billboard and shove it up your cu—"

"MARTINEZ!"

Elizabeth immediately hung up the phone, slamming it down on the receiver so hard it cracked her mahogany desk. Her growls of irritation swiftly dying and replaced with a tensed, nerve-wracked posture, she stood up, gathering the scattered paperwork in her arms and rushed to the door to the left of her desk. She left a trail of papers in her wake as she stepped into her boss's office, the door disappearing behind her as soon as she shut it. Her black pumps clicked through the uneasy silence and her tail flicked about anxiously to match the twisting, nervous feeling in her gut. 'Martinez' was rarely used as her summons, and when it was used, it was never a good sign. She stood in front of her superior's large desk, trying and failing to fix her papers, only succeeding in dropping more in the process. A pen was sticking out of her long, messy curls, and she reached up to grab it, causing more files to flutter to the floor.

"You called, sir?" The demon stared at her boss with flaming red eyes. She chewed her bottom lip nervously, smearing a bit of cherry red lipstick onto her teeth.

The man—or better described as a monster—sitting behind the desk with an unimpressed frown regarded his secretary with a roll of his eyes before they narrowed dangerously. "I've told you time and time again, Martinez," he growled, the rumbling causing the room to quake uncertainty under her pumps. That or Elizabeth was the one quaking. "No one is going to take you seriously looking so pathetic like that. Now, stand up straight." He tapped his claws impatiently, watching the imp follow his order, straightening her posture and squaring her shoulders, through her eyes remained wide and pathetically doe-like with the anxiety that swirled within. "Hmph. Better."

"Not to be rude, sir, but is that all you called me for?" Elizabeth cocked an eyebrow at her boss.

"What did I say about treating clients with disrespect?" The head honcho of Hell asked with another roll of his eyes.

Elizabeth flinched, her pointed ears flattening in embarrassment. Her eyes glowed, her flustered demeanor belying the anger hiding just beneath the surface. "I'm sorry, sir! But that siren was an idiot!"

Satan stood up from his desk. "I know that! I heard the whole thing! You should have come down harder!"

The secretary looked flabbergasted, taking a step back. "H-huh?"

"You are the voice of our people. Our entire business model. And I will not have some spineless imp just sit there and take it from our customers!" he boomed, the room starting to shake from the tremors caused by his voice.

Elizabeth grabbed the edge of the desk for balance, her long claws digging into the wood. "Who you callin' an imp?!" she snarled, her trail thrashing about as the glow of her eyes intensified, and her fangs started to elongate.

The CEO of Hell's eyes burst into flames, and he grew in size to intimidate the lesser demon. Just then, he smiled knowingly at his employee and shrunk back to his (still massive) original height. The room stopped shaking and the flames died down. "Good. Now, channel that rage through the phone." He sat back down, pulling out a soul's file from his desk drawer.

Elizabeth rolled her eyes and turned on her heel to leave. "Martinez." She turned back around at her boss's voice. "No calls for the next hour. My three o'clock should be arriving soon." He jotted some words down on his file.

The secretary nodded. "Yes, sir. I'll send him in as soon as he arrives." She left through the door that reappeared for her, sitting back down at her desk. She sat down with a huff, throwing her papers into the garbage. "If he ain't using them, then I'm not filing them." The files burned as soon as they touched the can.

After some time, a soul suddenly appeared in the middle of her office. She didn't even glance up at him. "Hello, lost soul. Welcome to Hell," she greeted him monotonously. "Help yourself to complimentary snacks while you wait for your greatest desire to come to fruition." She pointed to her right, a catering table of assorted food appearing by a window. She finally glanced up at the new client and analyzed his form.

A vampire dressed in rags looking quite frail. He sported burns on the side of his face, and he immediately rushed to the food, picking out the meat products to snack on.

"Sunburn?" the demon asked, feeling a bit of sympathy for him. The soul nodded in response and Elizabeth waved her hand. Several wine glasses of blood appeared on the table. "Figured you haven't eaten in a while." She gave him a smile, before turning back to her work. "I'll send you to his office in ten minutes."

The soul turned to her with a sort of incredulous look on his face, wine glass in hand. "Ten minutes? But I need to see him as soon as possible!"

Elizabeth looked back up at him, scoffing. "You can wait ten minutes, asshole. "

The vampire looked shocked at the insult. "What kind of service is this?!" He tossed the glass aside, staining the carpets with blood.

"Oh, good job! You know blood won't wash out, right?" Elizabeth groaned, leaning back in her chair.

"Listen, you imp!" The vampire stomped over to her desk. "I demand to be let in at once!"

"Suck my tail, neck breath!" Elizabeth felt slightly insulted. She just gave him the best choice of diet, and he wants to hurry her up?

"I said, let me in! Now!" the soul hissed at the demon, baring his fangs. Elizabeth stood up and did the same, her claws coming out. She swiped at him, and he dodged the attack.

"Just sit down and wait!" she growled, still feeling aggro from the argument before. "Look, it's been a long day. You're our last appointment. So shut up and make this easier for me!" Her voice carried over the room, causing a slight tremor. The vampire retracted his fangs and let out a huff of annoyance, sitting down on the nearby couch with a pout.

Elizabeth sighed in relief. "Thank you." She sat back down, resuming her work. The room grew quiet and peaceful. She was able to finish signing off on a contract with a governer in the middle of re-election.

Then the soul spoke again. "Can we please hurry this up?"

Elizabeth snarled and whipped her head up at him. "Really? You couldn't last five whole minutes?"

"It's two fifty-five! Can't you just send me in a little early?" He stood up again, taking a defensive stance.

Ready to toss the soul into the sixth circle of Hell, Elizabeth stood up, and her claws came out again. "Listen, you-"

"How long will you two keep this up?"

Elizabeth turned around to meet the mysterious voice that just spoke up. She jumped a bit at the sight of the unexpected intruder. "Who are-... Why… How did you get in here?!" She pointed an accusing claw at him.

The second soul, a human male dressed in a white lab coat, regarded her with little consideration and walked right past her desk. "Excuse me, but I need to meet with the devil."

The vampire jumped in his way. "Not so fast! I'm meeting him first! I already scheduled an appointment!"

Letting out a tired sigh, the human shoved the vampire aside. "Yes, yes. I've already heard so much about your meeting."

The soul turned back to Elizabeth. "Are you just going to stand there and let him treat me like this?! Some demon you are!" He glared daggers at her.

Elizabeth suddenly jumped onto the desk in a crouched position, her fangs bared once more. "That's it!" Her tail suddenly swiped at the vampire, slicing through his being. He burst into flames, screaming as his skin cracked and sizzled. His body collapsed into ash, the fire ceasing as the dust hit the floor.

The human watched with a sickening smile on his face. When the vampire was no more, he raised his hands to applaud the secretary. "Bravo! Very well executed!"

Elizabeth moved off of the desk to face the intruder. "Now, get out before the same happens to you." Her tail raised in the air, the sharp tip pointing at the human, who only laughed. But it wasn't a mocking laugh. It seemed almost joyful.

"But of course. Just let me meet with your superior for a moment, and then I will be on my way!" The human turned away and headed right through the door just as the clock struck three.

Elizabeth was left there, dumbfounded. She rushed to her desk, almost falling over it as she scrambled about looking for her files. She finally found her target and flipped through the manilla folder labeled "Clientele." She found the deceased vampire's information and read through. "Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw." She collapsed into her chair with a tired groan, her head lolling back. She stared up at the ceiling, awaiting her doom. This was the third client she had killed this month and her boss would not be happy. On top of that, some other soul had just barged into her boss's office without permission.

Minutes passed, and Elizabeth grew steadily more anxious. She sat up, staring at the door. Her fangs dug into her bottom lip, and her tail tapped against the floor. Her ears were pressed flat against her head as the seconds ticked by. "Come on." She whispered.

After what felt like a millennium, she heard the doorknob finally click as it was turned open. She ran out of her seat and dropped onto her knees.

"Please forgive me, sir! It wasn't my fault!" Her hands clasped together, begging for mercy. "That soul got the upper hand! H-He used holy water! That's right!" Her head was bowed in submission, her tail curling under her body.

" _Mein Gott_ , pick yourself off the ground, Miss!" A voice, different from her boss scolded her. She looked up and the intruder was standing there, looking at her with disgust. "You are a grown woman." He walked past her, not even glancing back as Elizabeth scrambled to her feet.

"I thought it was my boss." She looked through the still open door, seeing Satan seething in his seat. Black smoke rose from his ears, and his claws were out. The door shut on its own and disappeared.

"Oh, he is not your boss anymore." The human waited on the other side of the room. His hands folded behind his back and feet together, much like a soldier. "Now, come along, fraulein."

Elizabeth spun around to him, confusion evident on her face. "What're you talking about?" Confusion turned into dread. "Did he fire me?" Her voice a soft whimper. Being fired in Hell resulted in one thing. Permanent death.

The human chuckled at her distress. "No, no! Don't be so silly." He adjusted his round glasses. "You are being relocated to work under a new superior!"

Elizabeth let out a sigh of relief. "Okay, who?" She asked, leaning against her desk.

The human's grin was smug and evil. "Me."

The demon did a double-take at his words and straightened up at his words. "What?! Why?!" Why in Hell would her boss just reassign her and to a human of all things?

The human simply laughed and turned towards a white door that had appeared behind him. The exit to the human world. "You may leave your things here. You won't be needing them up there."

Still, at a loss, Elizabeth looked back at her boss's office one last time before following the human. She didn't even bother fighting. If it wasn't true, her boss would have barged through the wall and smite the human where he stood. But he didn't. So it was true. The human opened the door and held his arm out, signaling for her to go first. Elizabeth looked at him warily for a moment before walking through into the bright hallway.

The hallway was long, and it led only to a set of green double doors. The entrance to Earth. She had only been a few times, and just like before, the sight of those doors gave her some anxiety. She hated fieldwork. Meanwhile, the human chattered on about how great her new job will be. She paid him little attention, thinking of her own worries at the moment. He did eventually catch her attention with the words "pulp ridden blood transfer."

"I'm sorry, what?" She turned her head to look at him, hoping what he was saying wasn't involving her. 

The human perked up at her words. "Oh, my apologies! Let me explain." He pushed his glasses up. "You will be assisting me in my experiments against human nature." He smiled brightly.

Elizabeth cocked her head to the side. "Huh?"

"Well, I am a doctor." He explained. "But more importantly, I am someone who is not afraid to break the rules in pursuit of science. My experimentation knows no bounds." He grew quite excited at his own words. "I strive to figure out every tick in the human body and what I can do to create gods out of man!" He cackled loudly, causing Elizabeth to wince at his volume. "And if someone loses a uterus or gains one on the way, so be it!"

Elizabeth was curious, to say the least. "Well, that sounds… interesting." She thought about it, letting the words mull over in her mind. "Yes," She decided, "that does sound interesting." It would be a nice change from the pencil-pushing she does all day. When they reached the doors, her steps stuttered, and she grew nervous again.

"Do not worry so much, fraulein." The human said when he noticed the young demon hesitate at the doors. "Nothing bad will happen to you." He then paused for a moment to rethink his words. "Well, I hope not."

Elizabeth ignored that for now and looked at him. "What's your name?" She asked, hoping he would finally answer her directly. The human opened the doors, stepping onto a pentagram in the middle of what looked like a lab.

“You may call me Medic.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a short first chapter. I suck at beginnings and I just wanted it out of the way. Also, I love comments and I welcome critiques.


	2. An Okay Day for an Okay Demon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a chapter about Lizzie getting used to some of the mercs' antics.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for this story. The mercenaries live in an abandoned mansion as their personal base. And battlefields are set up nearby to fight it. So the dustbowl, badlands map, etc. All the deserty ones exist here. They're just scattered around the mercs travel to each one for battle. I'm over explaining this just in case it's not clear in the story. Thank you.

_July, 1969_

* * *

"NURSE!"

The intercom's microphone peaked from the loud voice. The command echoed throughout the base's long corridors. Well, "base" was too generous of a word. It was more of a run-down, abandoned mansion that had been turned into living quarters for nine of the world's craziest mercenaries. Although something had changed. A new member of the household. 

A young woman was rushing through the halls, carrying a large stack of papers in her arms. With every step of her red pumps, her bun slowly fell apart. Her knee-length skirt swished around due to her speed walking. She could feel the stack of papers press against her chest and slowly undo every button of her white shirt. She ignored it, focusing on her job.

"NURSE!"

The woman snarled in response. "I'm coming!" She yelled back at the voice, although she knew it couldn't hear her. She received looks as she passed a few men, ignoring their stares for now. She could hear footsteps behind her but paid the person no mind. She was sweating, and her arms ached terribly from holding the stack of files. She picked up speed, sensing that she was about to drop her load. She turned a corner and finally reached the lab's double doors. She turned around to push through, protecting her files. She rushed over to the counter and dropped them down, thanking the devil for keeping them upright. She was breathing hard and heavy and grabbed a blood-stained rag to wipe her brow.

NURSE!"

The woman turned towards the door leading to her employer's office. "I'm right here!" She yelled, tossing the rag aside. " _Stupido_." She muttered under her breath, leaning against the counter and almost knocking over breakers of pus.

The office door opened, and the Medic stepped out. His hands and shirt were stained with blood. He adjusted his glasses and rolled his eyes at his assistant as soon as he noticed her appearance. He opened his mouth to speak, but the double doors opening interrupted him.

A middle-aged looking man stepped into the lab, wearing a vest and a hat. He was holding a file in his hands, which he used to cover his eyes when he saw the woman's clothes, "Oh," he said, "didn't mean to interrupt." He lowered the file but kept his eyes averted, his ears turning pink.

The doctor spoke up. "Ach, Elizabeth! Cover up! You are embarrassing, Herr Sniper!" He barked, walking past his assistant to fix the beakers she had bumped. The Sniper grumbled a soft "' M not embarrassed," in response.

Lizzie looked down at herself, seeing that her chest of exposed. The stack of papers had completely undone her shirt, and her breasts were out for the world to see. "Well, shit." She muttered, starting to button it back up.

The doors opened again, almost bumping Sniper's back, and the Scout walked with more files. "Ey, doc! Found this in the…" The young man looked Elizabeth up and down and smirked. "Well, hey. I didn't know it was this kinda party. Nice tits, sweetheart."

Elizabeth turned her back, buttoning the rest of her shirt up. She heard a soft "thwap" followed by the Scout yelping. She turned her head and saw the boy rubbing his head while the Sniper lowered his hand. When her shirt was fixed, she turned back around to face the Sniper. She walked up to him, taking the files. "Thank you, Sniper." She offered a kind smile, one that which the Sniper gladly returned. "Good to know there's a person with _some_ decency here." She gave Scout a pointed glare, snatching the files from him.

"Hey! Not my fault you got your bazongas hanging out!" That earned him a hard punch in the arm from Lizzie. She spun on her heel to bring the files to her boss.

Medic took them from her. "Anything else you dropped?" He gave her a condescending smile and the woman rolled her eyes. A month in, and she's still not used to Medic's teasing… or Scout's leering. The doctor looked from her to the men. "If you will excuse us, _mein freunds_. We have work to do."

"Yeah, I'll bet." Scout waggled his eyebrows obnoxiously and Lizzie grabbed the Ubersaw from the medical tool tray. Scout immediately dashed out of the lab, his immature giggling fading away.

"I'll take care o' him, Sheila." Sniper sighed, giving the woman a wave as he left the lab. She watched him leave for far too long, now staring at the spot where he was standing.

"Ahem." The Medic piped up from behind. Elizabeth immediately headed straight into the office, ignoring the cheeky smirk she received from her boss.

* * *

Lizzie was growing used to the regular routine. It was different depending on the day, but she was getting the overall steps. Of course, life did not want to make it so easy. Every errand was accompanied by a mercenary exploding, one of them shooing her off, or the Scout drooling after her. She wasn't particularly fond of that last one, but she toughed it out.

"So, like I said," Lizzie had no idea what the runner was talking about, "I grabbed that Heavy's head and twisted it right off with my bare hands! You should have seen it!" Scout rambled on and on about nothing important as Lizzie shoved various body parts into her trash bag. 

Her assignment today was to collect any leftover body parts on the field from yesterday's battle. As tempted as she was to just telekinetically lift everything, she didn't want to cause any suspicion. So, she had to pick up every limp and organ one at a time with her hands. Her back ached, and her legs grew stiff. And the Scout was certainly no help.

"And then, that stupid Spy got a face full of bullets! It was so nice seein' his stupid brain all over the wall." Scout laughed, but his eager mood was cut short when he noticed that Lizzie wasn't even paying attention. "Hey, you listenin', toots?"  


Elizabeth let out a frustrated groan. "Aren't you supposed to be helping me?" She turned towards him, a BLU Demo's limb in hand. "That's why I let you follow me out here." She leaned against the bullet hole-ridden wall, taking a quick break.

Scout scoffed at her. "I am helpin'. I'm entertainin' ya with my awesome stories about how great I did yesterday!" He walked towards her and placed a hand on the wall, leaning in close… too close. "Course, I could always _entertain_ ya in other ways." He gave the demon what he thought was a charming smirk. However, after a moment, he backed away a few inches for some unknown reason.

Lizzie stared at Scout in confusion of what he meant, but then a sweet smell hit her nose. Her face scrunched up in disgust. Being a demon had its perks, but also its downsides. They could literally sniff out every sin. And right now, Scout was giving off a very "lusty" sort of scent that Lizzie wished she could not smell. But luckily, the sweet stench gave her an idea. The demon leaned in closer to Scout, crossing her arms behind her back to make sure her chest perked up. "Well," She spoke in a sultry manner, "we could have lots of fun, but the Medic wants me to scavenge the field for anybody parts he missed." She gave the runner a pout, batting her eyes at him. Her flirts were awkward, and she knew that to anybody else, it'd be borderline creepy, but to the Scout, it should work fine. "And I'm gonna be here all day. I'm just not fast enough to finish this." She whined, pushing away from the wall to walk away, making sure Scout caught the sway of her hips. It was more of a robotic-like jerk, but it didn't matter.

Scout immediately ran after her, snatching the bag from her hands. "Don't worry, babe." He puffed up his chest, trying to look as masculine as possible. "I got it. You're talkin' to the fastest man around. Just leave everythin' to me." He gave her a two-finger salute and a grin before rushing off to finish Lizzie's tasks.

Said demon watched him run around with a pleased grin, sitting down on a crate in the shade. She still wasn't used to the earth's heat. Granted, Hell is a pit of lava and flames, but it was different. She didn't have the sun beating down on her as she worked.   
She glanced around, making sure no one was watching. Satisfied with her isolation, she made a glass of water appear in her hand with ice cubes and a little umbrella. She sipped out of the straw with a smile, watching the Scout occasionally trip as he zipped around like a bug.

"You missed a foot!" She called out, snickering as Scout immediately retraced his steps at her words.

After some time, the Bostonian ran back to her, trash bag full of body parts. "Done!" He exclaimed, dropping the bag at Lizzie's feet. He was panting hard and sweating profusely. The demon merely glanced down at the bag. "Wanna make out?" He waggled his eyebrows, giving his coworker a seductive smile.

Lizzie visibly cringed. "Ugh, gross." She tossed the glass behind her and grabbed the bag. "But, thanks for helping out." She felt no sympathy for Scout as his mouth fell open in shock. She ignored his protests and headed back to the base. She was already sick collecting parts from nearby battlefields, and it had only been four weeks.

* * *

"Darlin', you stink real bad."  
  
Elizabeth turned from her meal, looking at Engineer with confusion. "Excuse me?" She asked.

Engie cleared his throat but scooted his chair an inch away from her. "I said you stink real bad. Have you been showering, cause-"

"Because you reek of a baboon's posterior." Spy interrupted, glaring at Lizzie with disgust. He was holding a handkerchief to his nose. He suddenly let out a pained grunt when Engineer elbowed him hard.

Elizabeth looked around at everyone else, and the look on their faces told her they all thought the same thing. This only confused her more. "And?"

The mercs seemed a bit surprised by this answer. The Medic cleared his throat for attention. " _Fraulein_ , this is a serious issue. Have you not showered at all?" He asked, hoping for a rational answer.

Elizabeth silently stared at the mercs for a full thirty seconds before saying, "What's a shower?"

Everyone's surprised look turned into shock, and Spy grew horrified. "A-Are you serious?" He sputtered, standing up and backing away from her as if she carried a disease. Which to him, she probably did. "How abhorrent!"

Everyone seemed to agree that this was rather disturbing news. The Scout was next to voice his disgust. "Jesus! And I wanted to bang that?! No, thank you!"

Before anyone else could berate Elizabeth's cleaning habits, Medic stood up and rushed over to her. Without warning, he grabbed her by the arm and dragged her out of the room. The demon allowed herself to be taken, deciding that this was better than being shamed by nine mercenaries at the lunch table. Once outside of the dining hall, Medic let her go and glared. "What did I say about causing suspicion?" He whispered, though his tone was vicious.

"What? What did I do?" Elizabeth asked, looking very confused.

Medic rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Oh, I knew we should have gone over human manners." He looked at his with disapproval. "I only assumed you'd already know how to behave."

"I'm a demon, _pendejo_." The nurse crossed her arms stubbornly. "Besides, I don't see what the big issue is? Demons can be super gross."

"But they do now know you are a demon." Medic groaned, rubbing at his temples."You did not even smell this bad when I first met you!"

Elizabeth sighed. "Hellfire is a natural cleanser. And we take lava baths to burn off any soul stains."

"Taking a shower is something humans do to clean themselves." Medic explained." We accumulate a lot of bacteria which leads to an unpleasant aroma on our body. We shower to get rid of the bacteria."

Elizabeth seemed even more confused, but then it clicked. "Oh! Is it that thing where humans have sex in that water spray thing?" She looked disgusted at her own words. "Gross."

The doctor sighed. "You can have sex in it, but that is not the showering part." He rolled his eyes again. "Let's just finish our meals. I will show you what showering is later." He escorted her back into the dining room, answering all of the mercenaries' questions for her.

  
A few hours later, Lizzie was walking down the main hall to get to her bedroom. She needed to finish putting up some decor she bought from town. She reached for the door leading to the living quarter's section of the base, but something caught her attention.

Down the hall, soft vapors of steam were escaping from the crack of a white door. Until now, she had never noticed this door. Out of curiosity, she walked over to investigate the steam. She slowly opened the door, a large cloud of muggy steam hitting her in the face. She stepped in and saw a line of lockers to her left. To her right was a row of sinks with mirrors above each one. Past the lockers and sinks was a swing door leading to another room. Most of the steam was coming from there. Lizzie's curiosity peaked further, and she immediately went through that door. She was not prepared for what she saw.

A large, tiled covered room was split down the middle with one wall. On each side of the wall was a set of five showerheads. On the floors were small drains scattered about. Six of the ten showerheads were in use. And none of the men under those heads noticed the confused woman standing at the entrance to the communal showers.

Elizabeth stared long and hard at them before realizing that this must have been what Medic was talking about. She smiled at this opportunity. Not only could she get rid of her seemingly foul smell, but she also had six prime examples of how to do so right in front of her. "Hmm. So it seems like they get naked." She muttered to herself, her voice drowned out by the loud spray of the showers.

She went back into the locker room to put her clothes away. She went up to one and discovered that it was locked. With a huff, she tried every locker until an empty one opened for her. She undressed quickly and shoved her clothes in hastily. She set her shoes under the bench with everyone else's. Finally, she undid her bun, allowing her dark brown hair to cascade down her back. She quickly headed back into the showers, feeling a bit nervous about washing herself correctly. She walked past the Sniper, Engineer, and Demo. All their backs were turned to her, so none of them noticed her presence. She saw an empty spot next to Demo and stepped under the shower. She looked around, spotting a dial in front of her. She turned it experimentally and let out a surprised yelp at the sudden blast of water.

Her noise alerted the men next to her, and they turned their heads.

"What the bloody 'ell?!" Demo shouted, subconsciously turning his hips to conceal his front.

Sniper stepped behind the Engineer to hide his parts. "What are you, doin', you bloody dolt?!"

Engineer was turning red, and he immediately averted his eyes. "Nurse, you can't be here!"

Elizabeth was shocked at the response. She stood still, not knowing what to do. That was when she heard the wet slap of footsteps behind her. She turned around quickly and was faced with more shocking mercenaries.

The Heavy wanted to speak, but like the Engineer, looked away to preserve from dignity. He cleared his throat. "Little woman should not be here."

"Yo, Heavy! Don't be too hasty!" Scout stood there, shamelessly looking Elizabeth up and down. "There's no need to get her outta here so soon." He purred, wanting to walk over to her, but was grabbed by the Soldier.

"Do not disturb the lady, Private! Have you no shame?!" Even Soldier managed to read the room better than Scout. He covered the Scout's eyes, and the boy struggled to be let go.

The demon didn't hide her body. She kept turning to look at each merc. "W-What's wrong? What did I do now?!" She was tired of this. Every other day she makes some sort of mistake, or something happens that puts all eyes on her.

"What in tarnation are you doing here?" Engineer still kept his eyes from looking at the woman.

"I'm showering! Like you guys!" Elizabeth exclaimed, worried that they may be onto her.

"But you're a lass! You can't be here!" Demo made sure his eyes were only on her face.

While the men continued to shout on about her gender, Elizabeth finally realized what was going on. This must have been one of those human separation things. Like using a public restroom. She found out about those rules the hard way during a supply run in Teufort. And it seems that it would be the case here. That only made her angry. She looked around and focused just enough power into her voice to raise its volume above the shouting men.

"SHUT UP!"

All six men immediately grew silent, and the Scout stopped struggling. They all looked at her, wide-eyed and uncomfortable.

"I'm going to shower right here, right now! Don't like it, leave! I'm not going anywhere just because you're pitiful hum-... ahem… culture is more conservative than mine!" She huffed and snatched a bar of soap from Demo's hand. "Now, let's be professionals about this. I'm going to finish cleaning myself and so will all of you. Now, carry on like nothing happened."

She waited until Soldier and Heavy dragged Scout back to the other side of the shower wall before turning to Demo. "Now, how do I use this?" She held up the soap to him. She could hear Scout's whines about wanting to see her "hot, wet body" and focused on learning how to clean herself like a proper human.

* * *

After showering, Demo was patient enough to show her how to dry off. She thanked him and promised him that she would convince Medic not to mess with his organs for the rest of the month.

Once she was back in her usual attire, she quickly left the showers to start dinner. She walked through the old mansion, eventually reaching the kitchen that was adjacent to the mess hall. She rolled up her sleeves and grabbed a red apron to tie around herself. She locked the doors and shut the window that peaked out into the dining hall. After securing her privacy, she allowed her horns and tail to pop out. Her skin reddened, and her eyes turned back into their demonic glow.

She pulled her tail out from her skirt to keep it comfortable before opening all the cabinets and the fridge with her supernatural powers. She hummed a lighthearted tune to herself, pulling out all of the ingredients she needed. A few packs of hamburger meat and some tomatoes danced over to a cutting board on the counter. She waved her hands, and the packaging opened. She pulled out a large, tin bowl from one of the cabinets and let the meat fall right in. A drawer opened by itself, and a long, serrated knife floated up from it. Her wings appeared from her back. She turned on a nearby radio that was sitting next to the covered window.

The radio host interrupted the now ending song. "Alright, and that was _Louie Louie_ by the Kingsmen! Next up is _Can't Buy Me Love_ from the Beatles!"

Lizzie squealed. "Oh, the Beatles! Still can't believe I saw them live in the pits of Tartarus!" She laughed, bouncing around in time to the song's rhythm.

The knife was brought down on the tomatoes, slicing through them. She brought out a wooden spoon and mixed them in with the hamburger meat, still dancing around the room. She set the mixture aside, going over to the macaroni to prepare it.

After some more dancing and cooking, Lizzie finally put the platter of hamburger casserole in the oven for one last bake. She had just sprinkled the cheese on top, and now she needed it to melt into the food. The radio was now playing an Elvis song, and she remembered fondly on his works. It was all the rage with demons.

A knock on the door interrupted her memories of jamming out with demons to Jailhouse Rock. She immediately turned down the music but kept the door locked. "Who is it?" She called out.

The response was, "It's Medic," and she opened the door immediately. She shut it behind him and locked it.

The doctor looked around, not expecting the floating cutlery but wasn't surprised. He sighed at her appearance but didn't bother correcting her form. "I heard about your attempts at showering." He gave her a pointed look.

Elizabeth returned the look with a sheepish smile. "Hey, it's my fault you pitiful humans like to separate the sexes." She crossed her arms with an eye roll. "Seems like it causes more problems than solutions if I'm honest."

" _Ja_ , it would seem so." Medic sighed, looking around the room. "How is the cooking?"

"Eh," Lizzie shrugged, "Could be better. Gonna have hamburger casserole tonight."

Medic thought about it and then gave the demon an approving nod. "Very good." He turned to leave, but stopped in his tracks. He looked back with a smile. " _Danke_ , Elizabeth." He then walked out.

Elizabeth locked the door with a grin. She had a warm feeling in her stomach, and a skip in her step as the music turned up on its own.

At six o'clock, dinner was underway. All the mercenaries were eating together as usual. A pleasant air filled the room along with the savory aroma of hamburger meat. Compliments of the food were given to the demon, who's ears pinked at the praise.

" _Qui_. It is perfect for such an amateur." Of course, Spy had to stick an insult in there somewhere.

"And you smell good for someone reeks of cheap cigarettes." Lizzie fired back with a teasing glare.

"Cheap?!"

Everyone laughed as Spy went off into a rant about how his cigarettes were hand-rolled by a one-hundred-year-old tobacco master in Cuba. The conversation continued to various stories about the mercenaries' past work life. The convo eventually circled around to Lizzie.

"You know, Nurse," The Sniper said, "You never did tell us all that much about where you last worked."

Elizabeth was caught off guard by that but cleared her throat. She glanced at Medic as she recited the story they had prepared. "I was the secretary at a large corporation here in America. I did all the busy work and filing, but I had to kill a few people to make some deals worked. "

"Deals?" Engineer inquired.

Elizabeth nodded. "Yes. We were a sales company. We sold property."

Spy regarded her with sudden interest. "Do we know of this company?"

She shook her head. "I don't think so. I can't say the name, and it was mainly an underground operation." She tapped her foot. Something that did not go unnoticed with Spy. He opened his mouth to speak again, but the Medic laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Spy, I forgot that you are scheduled for a lung examination. Please meet me after dinner." Medic held Spy's gaze for a moment too long before turning back to his meal. The assassin nodded and said no more. And with that, the conversation moved on to one of Heavy's retellings of a bear wrestling match.

Dinner finished with a polite farewell from the mercs, each heading off to their respective rooms. Elizabeth decided to pay the Medic a visit to say a quick goodnight. She let out a content sigh as she walked through the corridors.

It was still only a month in, but the demon couldn't help but feel comfortable here. This place kept her on her toes compared to the boring meetings of Hell. No one selling anything. No annoying souls begging for deals. Just nine insane mercenaries all fighting and giving her a supply of endless entertainment. She suspected that she would grow bored soon, but for now, she was going to enjoy the excitement while she can.

Reaching the doors to the lab, she pushed in to enter but was stopped. The doors wouldn't budge. With an annoyed huff, Elizabeth waved her hand in front of the doors and unlocked it. She walked in, looking around for her boss. She went through to the office and didn't see him there either. She made her way to the door on the opposite side of the room. It led to Medic's bedroom. She shrugged, deciding it wouldn't hurt to pop in. What's the worst that could happen? He'd be asleep, and she would just leave. Or he'd be awake, and she'd say goodnight.

After thinking of the possible outcomes, she crossed the room to the bedroom door. She thought she heard the sound of rhythmic creaking, but shrugged it off. The mansion did like to make creaks and groans sometimes, so she chalked it up to that. Besides, she was in too good of a mood to overthink things. Nothing could ruin it.

She opened the door, and the sight of Medic taking Spy's cock up his ass would forever be burned into her mind for the rest of her immortal life.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you think I'm not gonna shove my OTP into this fic, then you'd be dead wrong! Also, if you want visuals for Lizzie's design, check out a blog I made with all the art I commissioned for her! https://www.tumblr.com/blog/lizzyfromhell


	3. An Unwilling Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was written by Theewrites! Please show her love! https://theewrites-tf2.tumblr.com/

_July, 1969_

* * *

For several long, long, _very long_ moments, the Med-Bay was silent, quiet as the grave. The passing Pyro was humming cheerfully, already clad in fuzzy unicorn pajamas, hooded, with the tail, and the stuffed animal to match, skipping off with a warm cup of cocoa in their hands as they walked passed the Med-Bay. Skipping flattered though, and they paused, glancing at the Med-Bay as a weird sound. “ _Hmmph?_ ” They pondered, and stepped closer, leaning their side of their mask to the door to hear better. 

It sounded… gross, like… Retching? Was someone sick? It _was_ the Med-Bay, so of course, there’d be _sick_ people in there, but Pyro could've sworn Demo only had half-a-dozen beers, not enough to get sick from. Then the masked RED stiffened as a muffled groan sounded from inside. “ _Oooooooh GOOOOOOOD… please KILL me, I wanna die, Alguien por favor mátame-!_ ” 

“Whatcha waitin’ for Pyro?” Engineer asked, hooking his thumbs on the hem of his sweats, oil-stained undershirt acting as his casual nightwear. “Ya don’ wanna come for a lil’ story?” Pyro shook their head and pointed at the door to Medic’s lab. “ _Huddah hud, mmmph hummph hud hummph!_ ” Engineer blinked, turning to the door with a curious hum, “Huh? Really?” The Texan stepped forward and, after hesitating leaned to the door to listen to the reported disturbance that Pyro claimed to have heard. There was a minute of silence, and the bald man waited patiently for a second longer until the silence stretched a bit too long and he turned to his companion with a gentle, apologetic smile. “Say firebug, ‘ppreciate the concern ya got, but I ain’t hearin’ noth-”

“ _SOMEONE ENNNNNNNNNND MEEEEEEEE-!_ ”

Engineer swore and jumped at the Nurse’s sudden pained screech, and frowned deeply in concern as he began to knock rapidly, “Y’all okay in there?!” He called, but his worried holler was drowned out by Lizzie’s retching and a rather disgusting sound of rejected-stomach-contents hitting the floor. There was another swear, this one from inside, and Medic’s panicked but stern voice sounded from further inside, “ _Verdammt… Do NOT come in, Herr Engineer, all is well-_ ” “ _I AM_ **_NOT_ ** _FINE!_ ” “ _Elizabeth, shut UP-!_ ” “ _Oh fucking_ **_god_ ** _, that's so… it’s so gros-_ ” Lizzie’s whining was undercut by another round of heaving gag, and the German swore again, sounded more panicked (and a bit disgusted) at the sloshing wet sound of _something_ hitting the tiled floor of the Med-Bay.

Engineer blinked, looking equally concerned with a disgusted grimace, and turned to Pyro, revving up his gunslinger with a stern look. “‘M goin’ in, go get my extra dispenser-” His gameplan to go in and save Nurse from… _whatever_ was going on was quickly halted as Medic opened the door a crack, his hair a wild tangle on his head, and glasses halfway from sliding off his face. “a-Ah! Engineer, _was_ .. Hrm, what a surprise!” He said, attempting to smile at the shorter man, but it flattened to grimace as Lizzie let out a sob behind him. Engineer glared suspiciously at the German, not quite turning off the _whirring_ of his gunslinger just yet. “The hell’s goin’ on in there, Doc? Sounds worst than the hog’s last hour before Christmas-dinner.” 

Pyro let out a small whimper at the image, snuggling their stuffed-unicorn closer while Engineer turned to his companion, giving him a sympathetic look as he quickly apologized to the saddened mercenary, “Sorry, buddy, figure of speech. Christmas-pork is a holiday gift from pigs, not their butchered corpses spiced and seasoned to eat.” His soothing explanation calmed the masked-mercenary, who gave an agreeing mumble while happily thinking of how generous pigs were, and Engineer smiled back before turning sternly to Medic. Medic, who had quickly freshened up his appearance by straightening his glasses and (attempting) to calm his hair, immediately froze under Engineers glare for an explanation. “Erm…” He glanced back into the lab, before turning back to his teammate. He raised a hand and, interestingly refusing to move anything lower than his waist out of the doorway, pulled Engineer closer by his shoulder to murmur into the Texan’s ear.

“....”

“...She what?”

A sigh, “...”

Engineer blinked, then reddened as Medic pulled back, nodding solemnly. “ _Ja_ … I have her under observation, just to assure she’s… _comfortable_ during this trying time, and I do apologize on her behalf for her disruptive behavior at this time.” The German patted his teammate's shoulder as the Texan quickly shut off his whirling Gunslinger, nodded while rubbing the back of his neck with his flesh-and-blood hand. “R-right, sorry ‘bout the botherin’... Tell Nurse… Well, just say I hope she feels better later. G’night, doc.” He said, quickly taking Pyro’s free hand and turning, dragging the normally-mute mercenary down the hall and away from the Med-Bay. Offering a curious glance at Medic (who all but slammed the Med-Bay doors as soon as they were visibly walking away) Pyro turned to his friend, tilting their head with a confused mumble, “Mmmph hhmph?”

“Ain’t none of our business, firecracker. The lil’ lady gonna be just fine, doc’s got an eye on ‘er.” Engie grumbled back, cheeks still red as he tugged the offense-class member behind them by their joined-hands to the lab. Pyro paused, then let out another questioning grumble, which was ignored. Being ignored was _not_ a proper way to treat a Pyro, so the pyrotechnician expert immediately dug their heels into the ground, forcing the defensive-class member to stumble to a stop. “ _MMph HUDDAH hud!_ ” Pyro pouted, stopping their foot a bit. Engineer, for a second, still looked conflicted about telling the little firebug… It _was the_ Nurse’s business after all, but he softened a bit when he realized there was a concerned edge to Pyro’s demand. It suggested that it wasn’t Pyro's intention to pry into another's business but to make assure that a fellow teammate was okay.

The Texan sighed, smiling slightly at the fellow RED as he squeezed their gloved hand, “‘Right, alright. I hear ya… imma tell ya, but don’ go mouthin’ it off to the others, ‘right? Ain’t their business.” He paused when he saw Pyro hesitate. “... I’ll play ‘ _Goodnight Irene_ ’ after we read ya story if ya promise to keep ya trap shut?” Engineer offered and chuckled as Pyro immediately nodded their head, and he leaned over to lower his voice and murmur to his companion, “‘right, here’s what doc said…”

Medic slammed the door as soon as his teammates were out of earshot, turning to hiss to his companion as he tugged his long white undershirt further down to preserve his dignity, “If anyone asks, she’s gushing blood between the legs at an alarming rate in a feminine manner.” Spy, who had trousers (not his) clinging to his hips for dear life, had a shirt pulled up over his nose at the mess of stomach-contents all over the floor, glared at the ex-doctor, “ _That’s_ the cover story?!”

“Well, what ELSE do you want me to say?!”

“Something more BELIEVABLE, you’re a DOCTOR… _Merde_ , even _I_ know that mensural problems do not require a _doctor’s visit_!” 

“They _could_ , blood-loss, fainting, _anemia_ …. _was_ , should I tell them the truth instead?! ‘ _Oh, no need to worry, miss Elizabeth was simply undergoing shock after seeing_ **_ihr Chef bokommen GEFICKT-!_ **” 

“Oh for the love of Satan, STOP TALKING, PLEASE!” Lizzie screeched beggingly from her place over the eye-wash station, where she was struggling not to dry-heave down the drain as she continuously sprayed potentially gallons of water into her eyes. “I-i just… I don’t, I _can’t_ even stand your VOICE right now, fucking _shit_ … what is WRONG with you?!” A snort came from the Frenchman as he picked up another hospital linen to toss over yet another puddle of bile on the floor, his disgusted and judgmental scowl hidden behind the shirt pulled up to his nose, but clear in his voice all the same. “Last I check, _Madam Nurse_ , neither I nor the good doctor just spewed their dinner over the room while begging for death in a _ridiculous,_ and rather pathetic, manner.”

“Ridiculous?!” Lizzie cried again, jerking up and shaking her head like a dog to spray the water from her bangs before she whirled around, pointing at herself. “ _I’m_ ridiculous?!” That same finger flew from her chest, over to the direction of the doctor, who was still pulling his shirt a bit lower in an attempt at preservation. “You were _drilling_ my BOSS!”

“ _Oui_ , and?” At the demon’s sputtering, Spy merely smirked, lowering his shirt to let his smug quirk of lips be known, completely unashamed. “Last I checked, twas _his_ private quarters, _mademoiselle_ … and besides, I do believe I was doing a fairly good job with the so-called… _drilling_ , as you so eloquently put it.” A chorus of reprimand from his doctor at the bluntness and a shriek of disgust from the demon only made Spy smirk even more smugly. 

“You’re fucking GROSS, urgh!” “SPY!”

Medic reached up, once confirming that his privacy was secured below with the stretched-out hem of his shirt, and began dragging his hands down his face with a muffled groan of annoyance. “Spy, _bitte_. None of this is helping. Could you please just go wash up, or go to the room or _something_ -” “Could put on some goddamn _pants_ for starters!” Lizzie snarled, glaring up at the ceiling as she refused to look _downward_ , for fear of… well, first of what she’d have to _see_ , but also because she doubted there was anything left in her stomach to regurgitate up if she had to deal without one more instance even REMOTELY relating to sex or nudity, plus Spy.

Hell, that asshole of a Frenchman could be holding a zucchini, and Lizzie felt that she would instantly lose her lunch. ‘ _There’s no going back from the horrors I've seen,_ ’ She thought miserably, watching the object of her new night-terror snort with an eye roll, before walking over to his support-classmate out of her peripheral vision. ‘ _Tartarus needs to step up its game… Watching your boss take it up the bahookie, that’s absolutely a 3rd circle torture, at minimum.’_ Ignoring the misery of Medic’s assistant, as well as her disgusted gag at the sight, Spy walked over to press his lips to the corner of the (ex) doctor’s mouth, though the German gave him a narrowed eye glare at the action.

 _“Peut-être après une douche ... aimeriez-vous un deuxième tour, sans interruption?”_ He mused to his lover, who narrowed his eyes up at the Frenchman, though it did not hide the eager look that passed over his eyes for a heartbeat, shrouded in lust. Though, he glanced over at his assistant, and sighed, giving the man an affectionate pat on the chest as he pushed him away gently. “ _Nein_ … Let me deal with this, _bitte_. We can discuss-” “ _Just_ discuss?” Spy repeated, raising a brow. A beat of silence, and another glance over towards the other occupant in the room. “... _Ja_. We’ll have time later, but please, go wash up.” 

Lizzie didn’t dare move her eyes from the safety-point on the ceiling, not until she heard the bedroom door close firmly behind the French-slut, and _certainly_ not until Medic sighed in light-annoyance, and pulled on his lab coat nearby as a more suitable save at his dignity. “Alright, alright, _verdammt it_ … I’m _decent_ now, Elizabeth-” “Good, because **_what the fuck_ ** ?” Lizzie snapped, jerking over to her boss with burning red eyes, waving a slightly-sharper, longer nailed hand towards his closed bedroom door. “What the fu- _Why_ the fuck, Ludwig?!” Medic raised a brow and crossed his arms over his chest. “Specifics would be nice, Miss Martinez-” “ **_Damn_ ** your specifics, why were you with… with… _him_?” She cried out, waving her hands erratically towards the bedroom door.

Cheeks reddened, but Medic still attempted to bring himself up, “THAT is none of your business. You are my medical assistant, this has nothing to do with you-” “Screw that, I already saw you take him up to your lower intestines, we’re _well_ beyond ‘ _this has nothing to do with you!_ ’” Lizzie argued, dragging a clawed hand down her face, thankfully not digging into the skin and leaving down ribbons of flesh and blood in their wake, but honestly, at the rate, this night was going, that might’ve been preferable. “Just, come on doctour! WHY Him, just... Just please explain _that_ to me.” Medic, to his credit, _did_ attempt to open his mouth and soothe his obviously-distressed assistant, but a certain French bastard beat him to the punch.

“Because he’s very appreciative of my _talents_. Or so he wails out at night.”

“Goodbye.”

Deadpanned, Lizzie turned and strode over to the door while wringing out the still-damp ends of her hair from the eye-wash station, but her superior beat her to the door, blocking it with a bit of a scowl on his lips. “Nurse, _bitte_! Let’s talk this out like _civilized_ people-” A scoff from the disguised demon before him was the response, and she crossed her arms across her chest with a glare. “Civilized? Oh, you wanna act _civilized_ now, after I caught you red-handed bent like a hockey-stick?!” At the less-than-kind imagery, Medic’s cheeks reddened and he growled at an equal interval to his assistant, “Watch it...” “Oh yeah, like _you_ watched out for people barging on into you’re little shop of horrors?! Like, _seriously_ , you couldn’t lock the fucking **_DOORS?!_ **”

“It is _my_ room!” Medic snapped, taking a step forward with an irritated, and tired look in his eye. For a brief, humorous moment, Lizzie pondered if he was madder at the fact that he’d been walked in upon, or potentially infuriated at being cock-blocked. Either way, she would laugh about it later in hysteria, in an attempt to cope from what she’d seen, but for now, she stood her ground against her boss, who was pointing an accusing finger at her. “ _You_ should have knocked!” 

Lizzie tossed her hands in the air, “Oh yes, blame it on the _victim,_ you know how many nightmares I'm gonna have now, with _that_ seared into my memory?! You could have at least _warned_ me! Is it so hard to say “ _Hey, Lizzie! Spy and I are going to-_ ” Surging forward at a rapid, panicked-powered pace to slap a hand over her mouth, hissing out in a voice laced in anxiety and irritation. “ _Sei still! Jemand konnte dich hören!”_ Dark brown eyes burning hellfire red, Lizzie reached up to snatch his hand off of her mouth, because at this point, she was close to done and she didn’t _want_ that gross old man’s hands on her… especially when she had no idea, but a good _hunch_ of what that hand could’ve been doing earlier in the evening and she wanted it nowhere near her face until it had been _boiled_ in bleach and sanitizer, “ _Oh, tut mir Leid! Ich dachte, es wäre dir egal, wenn jemand herausfindet, dass du gerne französischen Schwanz nimmst!_ ”

Medic gaped like a fish at her, before bursting into a spill of enraged, insulted, and somewhat embarrassed German. Lizzie’s verbal dam burst, and soon they were in a bilingual shouting match. Mixed English, German and Spanish filled the air, and Spy cracked the bedroom door to peek out to observe the scene with a raised brow, before quietly slinking back into the safety of his doctor's living quarters. Unaware, the doctor and the nurse continued to shout at one another, neither looking anywhere _close_ to willing to be the first to back down.

At least, until they both stopped at the same moment to catch their breath and go into round 2, freezing as Scout’s knocking sounded from the Med-Bay doors, followed by his whining voice, “ _Yoooooooooooooooooo_ , c’mon, can ya quit throwin’ the hissy fits! I need to talk to Nurse and I've been knockin’ for five whole minutes!” Panic flashed between bespectacled blue eyes and hellfire-red, and they simultaneously hissed out an irritated “ _Shhhhhh!_ ” at one another, before Lizzie darted over to the door, begrudgingly, but allowing Medic to speed away from the doors to duck out of sight as the Nurse opened the door with an irritated sigh, “Alright Scout, what do you wan-... What’s this? What, are you constipated or something?”

Scout blinked, where he was flexing at a rather ridiculously position, turned slightly with his biceps muscles straining in his dark skin-tight tank top, meant to highlight his pecs. His scrunched up, slightly-red face from holding the pose relaxed slightly, but then reddened as he processed her words, “N-no, course not, toots, I was just-” “Are you sure? Because we have laxatives for that, you know. They work pretty fast though, so perhaps you’d feel more comfortable relocating to the Lab restroom for observation-” “Nuh-uh, I'm fine, I SWEAR!” Scout cried, waving his hands quickly in the air to cut her off. “I’m _fine_ , Nurse, honest-!” “Well, then WHY are you here?” Elizabeth snapped, losing patience quickly after sending a final glare to the doctor behind her, before stepping out and shutting the lab door behind her. Turning to face the Scout, she crossed her arms with a bit of a tired sigh, giving him a pointed look. “Scout, just… what do you _want?_ ”

Scout immediately perked up at this, and reached up to run a hand through his hair- Lizzie realized with a disgusted grimace that the mop of sandy-blonde hair was practically _dripping_ in Mann Co. Labeled hair gel- before swaggering up to her. With the newest RED team member watching with a raised brow, Scout partially cornered her to the door with an arm catching on the doorway to smirk down at her, curling his other arm in another vain attempt to expose his arm muscles. “Y’know babe, I don’t think I know all that much ‘bout ya… so I got one question for ya.” Lizzie blinked, and though she thankfully didn’t outwardly show it, some panic filled her chest at what his question could be, ‘ _Please don’t ask if I'm immortal, have horns or that I used to go to sleep on the sound of the Damns tormented wailing from outside my window,_ ’ she pleaded mentally. She already saw, and _experienced_ too much for one evening… being ousted as a demon from hell would just be the cherry atop the shit-pie she’d been dealt with in this one _incredibly eventful_ day.

Scout smirked, his buck-teeth glinting in the harsh overhead lights of the Med-Bay hall. “So babe… are ya German? Because I wanna be ger- **_man_ **-” “I’m Peruvian.”

Scout blinked as his pick-up line, the one he’d worked and practiced _hours_ for, was shot down instantly by the dead-panned, slightly confused Nurse. “... n-no, it’s a-”

“Scout, I'm Hispanic, I thought you knew this… Whatever indicated that I was German…?”

“Nah, wait, see, h-heh, it was actually-”

“Hell, you’ve _heard_ me speak Spanish,” Elizabeth added, raising a brow at him. Scout gapped, managing a few ‘ _Uhhh… erm…_ ’ sounds, before he gulped. Then, he perked up, and took a step back, “Okay, wait… Y’don’t like the pick-up line, how ‘bout _this_ , baby!” With that, he curled his arms in an attempt to flex his shirt off, making another pinched, dark-red face that made Lizzie concerned the man would ultimately succeed in shitting his pants. Thankfully, from the Nurse’s perspective, the outcome was a rip, but only through the stem along the right side of Scout’s tank-top, which he stared in dismay at while Lizzie let out a small sigh of relief.

“Aw man, that was my Plan B…” Scout whined, trying to pinch the two slips of fabric together, but now that the ‘skin-tight’ fabric wasn’t plastered to his skin, it refused to come together again. Lizzie sighed, feeling a twinge of pity for the boy, but felt more tired than anything else, reaching up to pinch the bridge of her nose in exasperation, “Scout, just… is this urgent matter?” Scout, already more than feeling the weight of failure with the pick-up line and the attempted flexing, cringed a bit, then frowned, studying his teammate a bit closer. A beat before he hesitantly stepped forward, brows furrowed as he placed a hand on her shoulder. “Yo, I-i know it’s a great tragedy when a guy as smokin’ as me has a lil’ hiccup, but… you doin’ okay, Nurse?”

Lizzie, who had stiffened as soon as Scout made a move towards her, was _not_ in the mood to deal with his round 3 of flirtation. She could feel his lust practically radiating off of him, and after what she dealt with back in the lab, the demon wanted nothing to do with sex for at _least_ another century. Frankly, she was ready to chuck the Bostonian to the next county the moment he put a hand on her shoulder, damn hiding her identity, but his words made her pause. She blinked, rolling the question in her head with a frown before turning her attention back up to him with narrowed, confused dark-brown eyes. “Am I… wait, what?” The Nurse glanced over him, trying to find an ulterior motive, trying to find the opening to another terrible pick-up line… and sensing _nothing_.

“I dunno, ya just seemed a bit… upset or somethin’, I dunno,” The man said with a shrug, going to pull back, “I mean, if imma sweep ya off ya feet, I wanna make sure my girl’s in the mood to be romanced first-” His hand didn’t make it’s retreat fully, for the disguised-demons hand snapped up, closing it around his calmly, but securely. He wasn’t going anywhere with that grip on his hand, Scout must’ve realized, for he shifted nervously as Elizabeth tilted her head in quiet compilation, thinking.

Scout was a horny bastard, that was just simple facts. And though Elizabeth would rather gurgle embalming liquid before letting Scout put his overeager hands on her at this point and time, she couldn’t deny that the slightly-veiled concern in his voice made her feel... Warm? She wasn’t _happy_ per se but… she enjoyed the concern he had for her, curiously enough. ‘ _Maybe because he’s the first one tonight to validate what I'm feeling,_ ’ Lizzie thought bitterly, turning back to glare at the closed Med-Bay doors with a bitterness curling in the back of her throat. ‘ _Ludwig, you dick… bet you locked the door as soon as I was out of your hair, so you can go back into bed and enjoy bouncing on the Frenchman’s coc-_ ’ “Uhhhh, Liz? I ain’t hatin’ on the skin-to-skin contact, but…” Knocked out of her thoughts by Scout’s uncertain tone, she glanced back at the hand still holding his hostage.

“... Say I’ve had a shitty night, and I want to do something fun?” Scout blink, then his face erupted into triumphant, only to be squashed immediately as she added cheerfully, “And if you put your ‘moves’ on me again, then I'll happily castrate you with a live-wire before stringing them up around your neck.” The Bostonian swallowed thickly, a lot paler now as he nodded, “N-noted! But uh, if ya serious about going to have some fun after some crappy time in-base…” He grinned suddenly, as whatever anxiousness at her threat melted away as he turned the hand-grab suddenly, grabbing her hand in a casual hand-holding grasp as he turned, speed walking down the hall suddenly with a somewhat startled Lizzie following. “-then we gonna go have some _fun_ , ain’t we babe?”

Lizzie smiled slightly, glancing back just as they turned the corner. Her eyes, flashing blood-red, remained narrowed on the Med-Bay doors as they turned the corner, Scout’s babbling about ‘ _scary movies ya can lean on me when ya get scared_ ’ and ‘ _rooftop shenanigans that might make it into the Teufort-Daily (if we get LUCKY)’_ completely going over her head as she bitterly imagined the doctor… _her_ doctor, completely forgetting about her as he fell back into that stupid, lustful Frenchman’s trap. “Yeah… let's go have some fun,” She decided, turning her gaze away from the Lab with a huff as she followed Scout. After all, Elizabeth doubted that since Medic had Spy, he’d hardly notice her absence… plus, while he was stuck with S _py_ , she would be going off with _Scout_ for the remainder of the evening…

“Oh yeah, by the way, think ya up for a couple of rounds of spin the bottle? Sure, popular myth you need at least four to play, but if we get _really_ creative, I think we can make a game outta two-!”

… She was stuck with _Scout_ for the rest of the evening, she realized. ‘ _Oh...fuck me._ ’


	4. Lambs to the Slaughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yeah, so quick heads up, I don't really know how the mercs live with the actual battle maps, so the maps will be seperate from the base. It's just easier that way.

_July, 1969_

* * *

Lizzie hummed to herself as her hand flicked back and forth, causing the dust to fly away with her feather duster. Her red lips curled into a smile, her head nodding to the rhythm of her hum. She dragged the duster across the window sill, inspecting the grime along the windows as she cleaned. She really ought to get herself a cassette player to keep her company while she worked. Her own humming was not enough. Her hand slowly stopped moving the duster and fell limp at her side. Her eyes drifted from the dirt and to stare out the window at the scenery before her.

The pink kissed sky was spotted with fluffy clouds as the sun just barely peeked out from behind the endless desert. The normally vibrant and too bright desert floor was now blackened by the sunset. Despite being in a miraculously air-conditioned base, she could still feel the heat just by staring at the setting sun. In the distance, a gathering of black clouds was slowly drifting towards the sun’s glow. It was an unnaturally beautiful scene that was missed among the usual chaos and gore that settled these lands. For the demon, it could almost be described as heavenly if she wasn’t so abhorred by the word. She did, however, allow her gaze to linger on the scene.

And she was glad she did. For a tall, lean figure stepped into view only several feet away. He was easily recognizable by his hat. Lizzie found herself watching the marksman bring the lit cigarette to his lips to inhale. The smoke left his lips in a billow, wisping away into nothing. The Australian had been catching her attention the most out of any of these men. Polite, yet distant since day one, he was always the first to thank the young woman for the meals she cooked. He also never once pried into her personal life for which she was very grateful. She knew very little about him, which made her all the more curious about his past. However, he gave her the space she needed, and so would she. But that was slowly becoming more difficult. 

No other human had ever confused her in such a way. She usually had a conclusion about humans so far. Weak, stupid, and disgusting. Medic was the exception, of course. He had proven to be quite capable of unseen strength, physically and mentally. He was a genius and even rivaled some of the most brilliant minds in history. Some she knew personally who are currently burning in the depths of Inferno. And, thank Satan, he was very hygienic. The other mercenaries, however, fit her usually description perfectly. Even though she has only resided with them for a month, she already had a distaste for most of them even despite their warm welcome.

But Sniper was… an enigma. Spy, while priding himself on remaining mysterious, was as interesting as cardboard to the demon. She already knew his type. Suave, a lady-killer in several ways, and skilled in stealth. And now, he’s the whore who fucks her boss on the daily. Spy should really take a page out the Sniper’s book and keep his mouth shut unless necessary. And it wouldn’t kill him to be less of a bitch.

Whenever Lizzie felt her nerves pluck at her, the marksman seemed to always be aware of such a thing. Maybe it was because he was good at observing due to his profession. But nevertheless, whenever she glanced at him in a tense situation, he always managed to comfort her with a simple smile. She felt… stable around him. She’s always running around like a headless chicken to complete some chore or insane task of Medic’s and his presence alone was enough to keep her grounded. 

Lizzie’s eyes trailed down his form and to the ground, spotting an empty can of Bonk! below the window. She let out a frustrated growl, reminding herself to scold Scout once again about leaving his garbage everywhere. She opened the window up, locking it into place. She leaned out of the window and reached for the can. As much as she wanted to just teleport it into her hands, she couldn’t with the Sniper nearby. Her fingertips brushed against the can, so close to grabbing it.

**_WHAM!_ **

Pain shot through her back and the demon let out a strained cry. She tried to move away and retreat back inside, but something kept her in place. She couldn’t turn her body around either. She pressed her palms against the wall under her to push herself up, but something heavy kept her trapped. She turned her head, seeing out of the corner of her eye that the heavy window had fallen back down. She growled, trying her hardest to push up, but the current pain in her spine stopped her aggressive movements.

Just as she was about to summon her inhuman strength, footsteps interrupted her attempt to set herself free. A tall shadow fell over her and the demon looked up at the Sniper standing right in front of her. Her cheeks turned red and she froze in place, embarrassment taking ahold of her. She smiled sheepishly, glancing down at the ground to avoid eye contact.

The marksman tossed his cigarette down and crushed it with his boot. “You stuck?” He asked, his voice sounding amused.

Lizzie looked back up at him with a glare. “N-No! I’m not!” She crossed her arms defiantly. “I’m just… taking a break!” The rest of her face turned red, causing the Sniper to chuckle at the sight.

“Really? ‘Cause that doesn’t look too comfortable.” He moved to lean against the wall next to the woman, still looking down at her with a knowing smile.

Elizabeth let out a growl deep from within her throat, looking away again. “Well, if that’s what you think, then why don’t you help me?”

“You want me to interrupt your break?"

…

“Yes.” Lizzie's meek voice spoke.

Sniper rolled his eyes, turning to the window and grabbing the edge. He pulled it up all the way, shoving it into place. Right as Lizzie was about to stand up, she suddenly felt hands on her sides. Her blush darkened as she was pulling through. She clumsily crawled out, standing to attention in front of the man. “Better?” He asked, taking his hands away.

The young demon nodded, still feeling the ghost of his touch on her ribs. “Y-Yeah,” She looked away, “even though you interrupted my break.”

Sniper laughed in response. “Sure, sheila. Whatever you say.” Something about that word made Lizzie feel warm in her stomach. She didn’t know why. Perhaps some disease she contracted the marksman since he was the one causing the feeling. She would have to discuss it with Medic.

Suddenly, the most annoying sound in the world went off. The alarm for battle.

Both Lizzie and Sniper groaned. The day was so close to being over and there was hope for a break. But, no. Not a day goes by without some sort of RED vs BLU fight breaking out. Without another word, the two separated to gear up.

Lizzie rushed to the battle locker room. Luckily, she had just finished cleaning it so she was already nearby. The demon barreled through the doors, running over to Medic’s locker. She opened it up, grabbing his coat and gloves to hand them off. As soon as they were in her hands, the Medic walked in with the rest of the team. His frustrated frown turned into a somewhat relieved smile.

“Ah, Elizabeth. Always on time.” The German took the coat, slipping it on as his assistant prepared his weaponry. By the time his gloves were on, his Syringe Gun was fully loaded and his Medigun was powering on. Thanks to the Nurse, he was able to get ready in only a few minutes. He left the locker rooms to meet everyone by the Mann Co. van, his assistant at his heels.

“I know it’s a longshot, but can I please come today?” Elizabeth pleaded, bouncing up and down on her heels. “Every time you guys come back, you tell me all the cool stories of bloodshed and pain! I just want to see it for myself. I promise I won’t interfere!” Her enthusiasm was immediately shot down with Medic’s stern glare.

“ _Nein_. You know as much as I do that you will inevitably try to join us. You cannot resist the violence.” Medic climbed into the passenger seat as the Engineer arrived. 

“She trying to come with again?” Engie placed his toolbox in the back of the van, jogging up to the front to drive.

“ _Ja_. And I keep telling her she cannot come.” Medic rolled his eyes, turning idly spinning the barrel of his gun. Eventually, the rest of the team joined and climbed into the back of the van one at a time. “Ach, finally!” The doctor exclaimed.

Scout poked his head out from the back. “Hey, not everyone has a maid to help them put on a dress!” At Lizzie’s intense glare, the boy shriveled back into the van. “No offense, babe.” He smiled nervously at her potential wrath. The demon simply tightened her fist as a warning, ignoring Medic’s insulted shouts about how it’s a coat, not a dress.

“He’s right, though, lass.” Demo interrupted her silent threat, causing Lizzie to sputter out her denials. “You’ve got a history of joinin’ in on the fun.”

“I do not!” Lizzie crossed her arms, resisting the urge to pout.

The team shared a knowing look before the Heavy spoke up. “What about time when Soldier and Demo fought over last beer? You helped me defeat Soldier, but did not even know why we fight.”

Lizzie tried to defend herself. “Well, that was-”

“Or the time where Scout and Pyro were arguing over which stupid character of their stupid comics was more powerful? And you decided to shove an issue down Scout’s throat.” Spy did not hesitate in embarrassing the nurse.

“Hey, he kinda deserved-”

“Or when Engineer and Medic were fightin’ over which calculation was correct about the Medigun issue a week ago?” Demo chimed in again as the team snickered at the memory. “You broke Engie’s arm in seven different places.”

“I’m still mad about that,” Engineer called out from the driver’s seat.

“Okay! I fucking get it!” Lizzie snapped, stamping her foot defiantly. “But this time will be different! I swear!”

The van started and Lizzie backed out of the way to avoid getting run over. It stopped just short of leaving the garage for Engineer to speak to the demon. “Face it, Liz. You’re gonna join in and get yerself fired. Just stay here.”

“I will bring you back a body!” Medic promised as the van pulled out of the garage and drove off towards the battlegrounds.

Lizzie coughed violently as a trail of dust clouds followed the van, entering her lungs and scratching at the walls. She let out a frustrated growl, followed by a few more hacks, before heading back inside. “Stupid humans not letting me join in on their stupid fights.” She shoved her hands into her skirt pockets, scowling at the floor.

She reached the medical wing, turning a corner to walk down the wide hallway. Passing the waiting seats, she stepped into the lab to work on some files. Medic’s always backed up on paperwork, so at least it gave her something to do. The Latina went over to the filing cabinet, noting how disorganized it was… _again_. She sighed and pulled out various manilla folders to reorganize them… _again_. As she refiled and alphabetized the papers, the bird above fluttered about in the rafters.

One of them flew down and landed right on the demon’s shoulders. Lizzie turned her head and smiled at Archimedes, watching him squish down in a round ball to sleep. Her smile fell into a frown, now realizing she couldn’t move that arm. Sure, she could just continue on with her work and occasionally disturb the bird whenever her shoulder rotated, but what kind of monster does that? The demon slowly walked to the desk and sat down, setting her files down. Her legs crossed and gently swung back and forth.

She had to admit, this was nice. As much as she wanted to join in on the dismemberment and pain, relaxing with a dove who loved sleeping on you was almost just as good.

Almost.

But there was a feeling that was present in the pit of her stomach. It crawled up her esophagus and into her brain, scratching at her cerebellum. She instinctively reached up to scratch at her head, accidentally disturbing Archimedes and causing him to fly away to find another napping spot. Preferably one that does not move so much. The demon frowned and scratched harder at her head.

Her mind drifted to thoughts of slicing open a human’s torso and releasing their intestines. She imagined gripping a screaming human’s head and digging both of her clawed thumbs into their eyeballs. Images of blood mimicking Old Faithful as she tore someone’s head clean off.

The itch nagged at her further and she stood up, her fangs bared as grinned. She needed her fill, and by Satan was she going to get it. In a flash, she was gone, leaving papers flying in her wake. The demon zipped through the base like lightning, rushing out the doors and straight to Dustbowl.

  
  


* * *

  
  


“MEDIC!”

  
  


The doctor let out a pained grunt as he slipped, falling face-first into the thick mud. It had started to rain badly and for no good reason. It was Summer for Heaven’s sake! Medic pushed himself up to his feet, wiping the mud from his face. His glasses were lost in the gluey mud. He would have to go on until he inevitably respawned in perfect condition. He trudged onwards, struggling to see through the night without his spectacles.

  
  


“MEDIC!”

  
  


“ _Jawhol_! I am coming!” The German shouted through clenched teeth. Bullets flew overhead as he quickly reached the second control point. Thank god most of the BLU team had died from an expertly set up bomb defense courtesy of the Demoman. Medic spotted said demolition expert lying on the ground, bullet holes littering his abdomen. He quickly focused his Medigun on the Scot, watching him heal in no time.

“Aye! Thanks, Doc!” Demo jumped to his feet, giving his healer a salute before grabbing his gun to set up his defense again.

Hearing the sound of the enemy Heavy’s minigun, the doctor ducked behind his team. Giving each one a quick taste of his gun, he eventually settled on his own Heavy as the BLU team arrived.

Commands were barked by the Soldier, to which most teammates followed. Say what you want about the man’s mental state. His strategies were the best. Following his orders, Medic followed Heavy up a set of stairs while Engineer kept his sentry posted at the control point.

Everything was going well, despite the setback of the first capped point. Spy was on a roll with his backstabs and the Scout was from enemy to enemy with his shotgun. Even the Sniper was able to get a few heals from the doctor as the Russian-German due passed him by.

And that was when all of a sudden, every light on the field shattered spontaneously. Both teams stopped fighting at the sudden loss of light. It became nearly pitch black. The only light left was the soft glow illuminating from both BLU and RED Medics’ healing guns. It was silent too, save for the constant whirring of the miniguns the Heavys sported. Neither team moved, waiting to see what the other would do. Was this a planned attack? Just a malfunction? Would they have to fight in the dark?

A sudden squelching noise interrupted all thoughts. It sounded wet and stomach-churning. That was followed by a loud _thump_ as if a body had fallen to the ground. Both teams started to back away from the source of the noise. But then something sharp sliced through the air and hit something else. Again, another body fell. Every new noise was accompanied by the same sound of a corpse going limp.

“What the fuck is that?” Scout’s voice was a tense whisper as he backed into an unseen corner.

The glow of the BLU Medic’s gun fell to the ground and right before it flickered out, the sight of the doctor’s decapitated head was illuminated for a second. And before the RED team could even start to fight back, all the lights came back on. It was as if they were never shattered in the first place. However, that came with a price. The result of the visionless commotion could finally be seen.

The entirety of the BLU team was mangled in several different ways. A slew of intestines, small and large, snaked along the ground. Limbs had been torn off and all BLU teammates were decapitated. Blood pooled around each corpsed and some of it had painted the brown walls red.

“Bloody Hell, Doc!” Demo exclaimed as he gawked at the bodies, walking over to nudge the enemy Spy’s head with his foot. “Couldn’t save it for the humiliation round?”

Medic grew defensive. “While I am flattered you think I am capable of such talents, this was not me.” He gestured to his muddy coat. “See? No blood!” He looked around, trying to see if any of his teammates was the cause. However, something else caught his eye. A distant shadow flew up from behind a set of nearby crates and into the air, disappearing into the black sky.

“Doktor is right. None of us could do this alone.” Heavy bent down, setting his gun aside to investigate. Spy did the same, though he did cringe at the thought of the blood touching his suit. “Bomb could explain bodies in pieces.” He held up a random arm.

“ _Non_. Look at the necks” Spy’s face curled in disgust as he picked up the BLU Sniper’s head by the hair. “It was cut, not blown off.” He examined the sliced neck further. “The cut is clean… too clean. Only a machine could perform such a feat. Usually, there would be signs of abrasions from a saw.”

Scout was starting to turn green. Sure, he’s dealt with guts flying around and blood. But that was in the heat of battle when you’re not really worrying about that. This was different. It reminded him of that time he accidentally walked in on Medic cutting the Heavy open. And this was not Medic. Their Medic relished in the screams of his enemies, yet… “Hey,” Scout spoke up, “isn’t it kinda weird that none of them screamed. I-I mean, I totally wouldn’t have screamed if this happened to me, but the BLUs are a bunch of pissbabies.”

While the others continued to discuss the possibilities, Engineer stepped over a few corpses to reach one of the lower lights. He examined the wiring and ran a thumb over the glass bulb. Not a scratch. “I could’ve sworn these bulbs broke.” He mumbled to himself.

“ _SIXTY SECONDS REMAINING!”_

  
  


The RED team jumped at the sudden voice. The bodies of the BLU mercenaries disappeared one by one.

“Well, no point in dwelling on that for now.” Always the professional, Sniper reloaded his rifle and rushed up the stairs next to the point. The team followed, nonverbally agreeing to discuss it later.

The BLUs did round the corner again, and the battle continued as normal considering that their paychecks were on the line. The REDs managed to fight them off to the last second and won today’s final round. A relatively easy win. Most likely due to the fact that the BLUs were probably thrown off by the sudden death.

The Medic drove his saw through his counterpart’s chest, twisting it in deeper as the BLU’s screams were drowned out by gargling blood. He eventually tore the saw out, walking past the dying BLU as the humiliation round ended. He didn’t even properly enjoy such a gruesome kill. All it did was remind him of what he saw. He had a very good feeling who caused the bloodbath.

The doctor stopped in his tracks, rubbing at his temples with an annoyed sigh. His glasses were still gone and he could feel a headache coming. He was not in the mood to yell at his assistant today.

* * *

  
  


Water cascaded down and rinsed off any blood that was left on Lizzie’s body. She had an ecstatic smile on her face, her eyes closed as the water splashed against her face. She turned around, the hot shower soothing her aching muscles. It would be a while before she could perform such a feat again, but it was worth it. Her legs felt like jelly, but she toughed it out to stay standing.

Turning off the water, she stepped off the white tiles as red-tinted puddle drained away. Her feet slapped against the floor with every wet step as she grabbed a towel off the rack. As much as she wanted to simply make dry, clean clothes appear at the snap of her fingers, she was completely drained from such intense use of her powers. 

A sudden realization dawned on her. The demon’s shoulders sagged as she whined in frustration. She would have to get dressed like a normal human. “How do such pathetic weaklings put up with this?” She grumbled, drying her self off with the towel. She wrapped it around herself, picking up the pile of cold, wet clothes from the bench. “These are gonna be a bitch to wash.” She exited the shower locker room, walking down the hall to her room barefoot.

She bent down and stuffed her clothes under her bed after entering her room. She would have to wash tomorrow during the next battle so that nobody accidentally walked in on her damning evidence. The demon changed into her usual nightwear. A devil-themed onesie complete with a tail and a horned hood. Typical pajamas for a hell-spawned monster.

Before she could even turn in for the night, a knock at her door interrupted her peace. She rolled her eyes. It was probably Pyro asking for another bedtime story. She opened the door, expecting to see the firebug with a pop-up book in his hands. However, what she got was not the adorable pyromaniac. It was instead, her boss. 

And he looked angry.

Lizzie opened her mouth to give him her greetings, but she was stopped by the Medic holding a hand up to her face. After a split second of thought, she made the smart decision to close her mouth and accept her fate. They both knew why he was mad. The demon stepped aside to let the doctor in, shutting the door behind him.

“Listen, Doctor. Before you start screaming my tail off about how I broke our ru-”

“You broke our rules!” Medic interrupted, looking more furious with every word. He pointed an accusatory finger at his nurse, growing even angrier at her eye roll. “You agreed that you would not reveal your true form under any circumstance!”

“Well, technically, I didn’t reveal myself to anybody. So, I didn’t break any rules.” Lizzie gave Medic a smug look, thinking she totally outsmarted him.

“You interfered!” He shouted. “After everybody, not just me, told you not to!”

The demon visibly sagged, grumbling out a barely audible “ _mierda_.” However, she recovered fairly quickly and grew defensive, giving Medic an angered pout. “But it’s not fair! Everyone else gets to have fun and kill all the time! Why not me?!” She crossed her arms. “It’s not fair!”

Medic groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “We are not having fun, _fraulein_. We are doing our jobs. What we are paid to do.” He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. He looked at Lizzie, anger still clear in his eyes. “Look, you know that we cannot risk your exposure. We don’t know how the others will react. Not everyone will jump at the prospect of working for a being of Hell. They could easily overpower me by majority and have you sent back.” He took another breath to steel himself, placing a hand on Elizabeth’s shoulder and looking her in the eye. “Do you want to be sent back?”

Lizzie was silent for a moment, her pout fading into deep contemplation. After a bit, she seemed to look defeated. “No, Doctor.” She shook her head.

Medic let out a relieved sigh, happy that this was settled. “ _Gut_.” He gave her shoulder a pat, unknowingly causing Lizzie’s rage to spark up again.

The nurse suddenly shoved Medic’s arm off, glaring intensely at him. “N-No! Not _gut_! We’re not done!” Her hands curled into tight fists and her body tensed defensively again. It might have looked intimidating if it wasn’t for the devil onesie she was wearing.

Medic was taken aback for a second before cocking an eyebrow up at Lizzie’s outburst. “Oh? _Und_ how are we not done?” He asked in a slightly condescending tone. He decided to humor her for now until she gets unnaturally loud and alerts the entire base of their argument.

“I’m tired of being left alone here every day with nothing to do except fix your notes and finish your reports.” Lizzie’s voice was a deep growl. “Today, I’ve had it. After seeing how you tear apart those pitiful BLUs, it reminded me of what I hated most about Hell.”

At this, Medic grew less condescending and more confused. “ _Was_? This is nothing like Hell.”

Lizzie ran her hand through her hair, pushing the hoodie back. “Maybe not to you. But for me, it’s almost the same.” Her anger dissipated and she let out a defeated sigh. “You know that I was the secretary for the big man, but what you don’t know is that… you know what? Forget it.” The demon stepped back and flopped down on her bed, turning her back towards Medic. “You’re just like him. You don’t care.” Her voice was uncharacteristically soft and… almost vulnerable.

It was quiet for a bit. So quiet that Lizzie thought he had somehow left without using the door. But then a weight pressed down into the mattress, shifting the bed. “Elizabeth,” Medic’s usual cold cut tone was gone, softened by concern, “I may be clinically insane and usually uncaring of others,” A gentle touch to Lizzie’s shoulder pulled her enough to turn towards Medic, “but unlike the devil, I can make exceptions.”

The demon stared at Medic. His hard, stern gaze was now warm and welcoming. She had never seen this before. Perhaps once when he thanked her for cooking, but that was more out of gratitude for a decent meal. Lizzie slowly sat up, leaning up against the headboard. She hugged her knees to her chest to give Medic more room to sit.

“About two hundred years ago,” She kept her gaze locked knees, “I was promoted to be the head of our torture department. I had started at the bottom as a measly whip handler but then worked my way up to manager. I guess they really loved my tactics and ideas.” A fond smile came over her face. “The big man himself came down from his office to congratulate me. I was the youngest demon to run that division. Only beating out the previous manager by eighty years.”

“And the day he came down to me, he said something that would stick with me for the next century. He said that if I kept up the good work, I would be promoted to the sales team.” Lizzie’s eyes lit up. “Can you imagine? Me, going up to Earth and meeting humans for the first time. Making deals and signing contracts with them. Tricking their feeble minds into serving our dark lord.”

“So, for the next century or so, I worked my tail off tearing those souls apart and throwing them into our lava pits. I was a super hands-on boss too. It was great.” Lizzie’s smile disappeared as she rested her chin on her forearms. 

“Until I started to get bored. Every day was the same. Welcome the new souls with open arms made of razors, go back to the old souls for their daily punishment, and rinse and repeat. Like… literally, rinse them. They would get so gross from all the blood and other expelled fluids.” The demon let out a chuckle, but her humor faded into a melancholy tone. “I kept hearing stories from the sales team of how fun it is on Earth. Sometimes, they would party up their just to blend in and get people drunk enough to sign the contract. That only made me feel worse. I wanted to go upstairs soooooo bad. I wanted to real, authentic flesh in my hands with death on the line. It would make everything so much more exciting.”

“So, one day, I skipped out on work. I pretended I had a case of horn-and-mouth disease. Then, I managed to steal a pass from one of my buddies from sales. And with that, I snuck out through the main portal to Earth.” Lizzie finally turned her gaze towards Medic, who had a look of deep thought on his face as he processed her words.

“It was great.” A big smile came on her face. “I flew around invisible. It was the first time I felt rain. It was so weird, but a good kind of weird. But I knew I couldn’t be up here for too long, so I quickly found my target. It couldn’t be a child, because we don’t do that. Not a person who’s aiming for Heaven, and certainly not a person of God.” Her warm smile grew sick and twisted as her pupils dilated, her fangs revealed. “It was a guy in thirties who had just finished some real bad sins. So, I took him from his big, fancy home in the middle of the night and performed some of my best work. Luckily, it was deep in the woods so I didn’t have to worry about cleanup. Some animals would take care of that.”

Lizzie’s demented smile softened and she grew sad again. “But when I got back, everyone had found out. I guess I didn’t actually know how our system worked outside of my department. But how was I supposed to know somebody hand-counted each soul that came through?” Her arms fell to her sides as she looked up at the ceiling. “So, I got moved to a job that would allow the devil himself to keep a close watch on me, and it had the wonderful bonus of no torture.” Her head lazily turned, looking Medic up and down. “Guess what fucking job that is?”

The doctor, who had been silent the entire time, gave Lizzie a look of empathy. “A secretary.” He answered for her, receiving a solemn nod in response. When Lizzie did not continue speaking, he carried the conversation for her. “I see. So that is why you are so eager to partake in the carnage.” The demon nodded, still staring at Medic. “I appreciate you telling me your story, but this does not change anything.” He stood up as his assistant gawked at him.

“Oh, come on! It was super sad and everything! Pity me!” Lizzie got up from the bed to follow him to the door. She pouted again when Medic only laughed at her. She crossed her arms, her bottom lip puckering out.

The German snickered, wiping a fake tear from his eye. “Aw, is my little nurse upset?” He cooed, bursting out into laughter again.

Lizzie’s pout only deepened. “Callate la boca.” She mumbled. Medic eventually calmed down, but his amused smile remained. 

“Don’t be so childish, Elizabeth. I can’t have you acting this way during training.” And with one condescending pat on the head, Medic turned on his heel and left the room.

The young demon perked up at that and immediately ran after him. “Wait! What training?!” She rushed to his side, trying to coax a clear answer out of her annoying boss.

As both of them walked towards the lab, something closed Lizzie’s bedroom door. The RED Spy uncloaked, lighting up a cigarette with a simple flourish of his hands. He inhaled deeply, letting out the smoke as he walked away thinking about how he could use such interesting information to his advantage.

* * *


	5. Meaningful Language

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> warning, this chapter is graphic in gore. I know I put it in the tags, but still just a heads up. Art by the lovely https://fauchart.tumblr.com/

_July, 1969_

* * *

Whoever invented the alarm clock was definitely going to be castrated twice over in all of Hell’s nine sectors.

Lizzie’s hand flopped down on the alarm, silencing its horrid screeching. Despite being a literal hot-blooded demon, the sudden break from her dreams always gave her the shivers. Nothing was fun in that moment of realizing you’re not actually skipping along a beach with a unicorn. But laying face-first into a drooled-soaked pillow in a broken down base with nine disgusting mercenaries. The demon let her arm fall limp from the clock and she laid there in silence for a few moments. The usual internal debate waged inside of her. If she slept in, she could have a few hours more of blissful dreaming. But if she did that, then she would no doubt be faced with the lecturing of her life from her boss. So, Elizabeth rolled out of bed, planting her bare feet on the cold cement to start the day.

The one good thing about waking up at four in the morning is that she could walk around freely with her natural anatomy. She stumbled around like a zombie towards the bathrooms, her wings expanding and contracting to stretch them out. Her tail dragged limply behind as she entered the facilities. Walking past nine toilet stalls and urinals, she reached her assigned sink. She brushed her teeth and washed her face with cold water to properly wake her brain up. After giving her wings one more good stretch, she waved her hand tiredly and they disappeared. She allowed her horns and tail to stay for now.

She finished freshening up and left the washroom to start breakfast. As she made her way to the kitchen, she made a mental list of possible dishes to prepare with the pathetic assortment of ingredients they had on hand. Maybe cereal and toast would suffice for today. As she stepped into the kitchen, she mumbled something about reminding herself to make a supply run to Tuefort.

Lizzie started a pot of coffee, standing still as time melted away from her senses. She shut her eyes, the craving for more sleep returning as the morning elixir dripped into a growing puddle. The world faded from her mind and she could almost see that beautiful unicorn on the beach once again. But it was destroyed in a split second by the sudden beeping of the coffee maker. She opened her eyes, seeing that the pot was full. She took a moment to shake out the tiredness from her body and gave her cheeks a light slap to wake her up again. Lizzie took a hold of the pot by the handle and sat down at the little kitchen table. She brought the pot to her face and took a deep inhale of the ambrosia. She put it to her lips and tilted her head back, letting all of the fresh coffee run down her throat. It scalded her insides, giving her a nice boost of energy from the pain.

After finishing off the pot, she slammed it back down, the caffeine fueling her system immediately. She stood up, putting it back in the coffee maker without washing it to start another batch. Elizabeth left it alone to grab nine bowls from the cupboards. Setting them down on the counter, she opened the fridge to her right to peer in. To her surprise, there was a carton of eggs and a few unopened gallons of milk all sitting together on the top shelf. Sticking to the carton was a little note. She reached in and grabbed the note, picking up the newly discovered food with her magic and setting it down on the counter. She leaned against the fridge door, a smile forming on her face as she read the note.

_Good morning, Sheila. Grabbed this while I was in town. Figured you could use them for brekkie. There’s bacon in the freezer too._

_-Sniper_

Her heart suddenly picked up speed and she felt her cheeks heat up. She crushed the note to her chest, letting out a giddy, high-pitched squeal as she bounced on her heels. She shoved the note into her pocket, now completely awake and ready for the day. That single note gave her the proper kick she needed that mere caffeine could not provide. She reread the note over and over in her mind, a pep in her step as she opened the freezer and pulled out the bacon. She sliced open the package with her claw and set them aside to defrost. As she pulled out a skillet to heat up on the stove, the pantry on the other side of the room opened on its own, and cereal floated out. The box opened and cereal was served into every bowl. Elizabeth hummed a little tune as she grabbed a can of lard from the cupboard and scooped some out to melt on the skillet.

“Happy, are we?”

Lizzie whipped around, the cereal box dropping on the counter and spilling the sugary contents everywhere. Standing in the doorway with the smuggest smirk Lizzie had ever seen was Spy. Her eyes were wide and her breathing was fast, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. She quickly made her horns and tail disappear, still standing frozen in shock.

“S-Spy,” Lizzie stammered, “I-I… uh… um… “

The French rogue held up a hand to stop her and the demon shut her mouth. He walked over to where she stood, gently taking a hold of her shoulders. Ignoring her flinch, he moved her aside and grabbed the skillet, shaking it to help the lard spread. “You almost burned it.” He said, grabbed a few slices of bacon and lay them flat on the pan. “Grab a broom and sweep up the cereal.”

Normally, Lizzie would tear into his spleen for ordering her around like that, but in this instance, she willed herself to follow. She wasn’t that big of an idiot. She knew he had the upper hand here. The demon pulled a broom and dustpan from the pantry, collecting the cereal into the pan. She dumped it into the garbage bin and started to clean the counter of cereal.

After finishing, she stared down at the cereal, chewing her lip nervously. “Are you going to tell everyone about me?” She asked, her chest pounding.

“ _Non._ ” Spy admitted, transferring the cooked bacon to a plate and laying out new strips onto the skillet. “Doing such a thing would no doubt endanger the arrangement I have with your superior.” He turned his head, staring into Lizzie’s soul. “And as much as I despise your existence, I must admit, you are a decent cook. It would be a shame to go back to Soldier’s idea of cuisine.” He looked back at the frying bacon, removing it and adding new strips once more.

Elizabeth let out a sigh of relief, grabbing another pan from cupboards below her and laying it on the stovetop. She opened the egg carton as Spy spread some lard onto the skillet. She grabbed all twelve eggs with her powers and cracked them all into the pan once the lard had melted.

Spy watched curiously. “Interesting.” He muttered, placing the first pan into the sink after he finished cooking the bacon. “I suppose it is not too far-fetched to assume you are from Hell?” He asked, rinsing out the pan and cooling it down.

Lizzie used a spatula to scramble the eggs in the pan, side-eyeing Spy with an annoyed glance. “I was Satan’s personal assistant. Medic brought me here after his appointment with him.” She explained. No point in resisting Spy’s quest for information. It would simply draw out this conversation longer than it needed to be.

“Ah, so the _docteur_ has been to Hell. Has he made any deals with the devil?” Spy was well aware of his lover’s contracts with Satan. But he needed to know if Lizzie knew that too. He looked at her to analyze her expressions. 

To his surprise, she shook her head. “I figured he did but never asked and he never told me. I never saw his file downstairs before I left.” She distributed the eggs to nine plates and did the same with the bacon. “Can you hand me the coffee?” She asked as she poured the milk into all the bowls.

Spy stood still for a split-second before complying. He was already questioning her and there was no need to be rude at this point. “Does anyone else know?” He grabbed the pot and poured the coffee into several cups the nurse had already laid out.

Lizzie prepared a glass of milk for the Pyro and used her magic to pick up all the dishes. “Not to my knowledge.” She walked out of the kitchen with Spy holding the door open for her.

“You really shouldn’t be exposing yourself like this. I have stumbled upon the bushman snacking in the kitchen at these hours.” The sudden blush at the mention of the marksman did not go unnoticed by Spy. He sat down at the table, scoffing in disgust. “Do not tell me you have developed feelings for that grotesque animal. You have only been here for a month.” The distant sound of Soldier’s bugle horn went off, no doubt waking the rest of the team.

Elizabeth rolled her eyes, but the blush was still there. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’m a demon. We’re not capable of feeling silly things like that. I just find him interesting.” She finished setting the table, turning to Spy. “How do I look? Normal?”

“Hideous as usual.” Spy poked at his scrambled eggs petulantly, ignoring the demon’s middle finger directed at him. His attention was drawn away from his food when the mess hall’s door opened. It was subtle, but Lizzie swore she could see his mouth twitch up into a smile when the Medic walked in.

The doctor did not hide his own smile when he saw the Frenchman sitting there. He walked around the table, giving a knowing look. His hand brushed against his lover’s shoulder as he passed him. “ _Guten morgan_ , Elizabeth. Breakfast looks lovely today.” He sat down next to the Spy, their feet no doubt engaging in a game of footsie.

Despite the subtleties of their affection, Lizzie still gagged at the sight. “Whore.” She directed a growl at the Spy, to which he responded with an eye roll.

“Monster.” He muttered. Before Medic could question what Spy meant, the team’s Scout strode in wearing nothing but boxers and a tank top. He was followed by Soldier, who turned sharply to march towards his seat.

The Scout sat down at his usual spot, grinning down at his food while the rest of the team filed in one by one. “Damn, babe. This shit looks good, but next time, add a couple of stacks of pancakes for me. Gotta fill up to keep this body lookin’ sweet.” He flexed for the Nurse, causing her to immediately leave with a “kill me now” look on her face. The runner let out a yelp as Heavy gave him a sudden slap to the head. “Hey, what the hell, fatso?!” He shouted, rubbing his head.

“Be grateful for food. Leetle nurse wake up early to make this.” The Russian scolded, taking a seat next to the Medic. He gave the doctor a tired smile. “Good morning, Doktor. How was sleep?”

Medic smiled back. “ _Wunderbar_. I have been trying out a new exercise regime before bed to help me sleep better.” He did not see the faint smirk on Spy’s face.

That was when Heavy’s expression changed into a look of concern as he peered at his coworker’s posture. “Doktor sit funny. Did exercise hurt back?” He pointed out.

The Medic immediately adjusted his posture as Spy bit his lip to hold back a snicker. “J-Ja.” He replied a little too quickly. “Perhaps I shouldn’t work out so hard.” His hand wandered and pinched Spy’s thigh hard.

Engineer swallowed his spoonful of eggs. “That ain’t too healthy, Doc. Maybe you should try stretching more.” He suggested.

“Laborer is right.” Spy rested his chin on his hand to give Medic a coy smile. “Perhaps you should stretch over a table. That helps me.” He batted his eyes innocently.

Before Medic could kick him, Scout’s laughter interrupted him. “Spy, you have no freakin’ idea how wrong that sounds.” He grinned with a mouthful of oat cereal.

“Your mother was not complaining last night.”

Pyro had to grab the runner to stop him from tackling Spy over the table while the Demo burst into laughter at Scout’s expense. During the sudden commotion, Lizzie walked out of the kitchen with a piece of toast in her mouth and two more in her hands. She munched on her food as she watched Pyro try to calm Scout down.

“Ig hi hay hohehing?” She asked through a mouthful of toast. When Medic gave her a stern look, she quickly chewed and swallowed her toast. “I said did Spy say something?” She repeated.

“Yeah!” Scout interjected, glaring daggers at the rogue. “He talked shit on my Ma! I could totally kick his ass, but I don’t wanna ruin the breakfast you made.” His anger somehow dissipated instantly as he flirted with Lizzie once more.

And again, the demon turned and walked out without responding.

* * *

Lizzie tied a bandana over her head to keep her hair back. She rolled up her sleeves, reaching down and picking up the bucket of soap water. She detested scrubbing the walls, but it had to be done. There were many spots of questionable muck on every wall in the base when she first arrived. Now, there were only a few rooms left to take care of after painstakingly scrubbing down the other walls. 

Her skirt was gone and replaced with a pair of ragged looking jeans. She walked down the hall in poorly-fitted boots that she had spent hours cleaning. It was still better than her red heels.

“Here we go.” She muttered to herself as she stepped into the lounge. She had previously held off on cleaning the more used rooms in the base so as not to disturb anyone.

Once in the room, she noticed that things looked very different. First, and foremost, the furniture had been pushed aside to the farthest corners of the room. Secondly, there was a large mat in the center of the floor. And finally, two bodies were rolling around on said mat. Those two bodies were the Demo and Scout. They seemed to be partaking in a game of wrestling with the Soldier constantly jumping around them. Lizzie just stood there and watched the Demoman pin Scout while Soldier counted the seconds. After ten, the Demo relented and Scout looked very angry.

“Man, you were fucking cheatin’!” Scout whined childishly, crossing his arms and pouting on the floor.

Soldier stood over him with a manic grin. “Man up, boy! We’ve still got forty-five more rounds to go!” He laughed. Demo joined in and they high-fived each other.

“Aye, lad! Why don’t you just tap out now and admit defeat?” He taunted, laughing again when Scout’s pout didn’t change.

Elizabeth walked around the mat as the Soldier and Demo continued to mock the runner. She set the bucket down, reaching in and pulling out a soaked sponge. She squeezed some water out and started to scrub at the wall.

“Hey, dollface!”

The demon rolled her eyes as soon as Scout spoke and turned around to give him an annoyed look. “What? I’m kinda busy here.” Her tone was short and it was clear she did not want to be interrupted. 

She cringed at the runner’s cheeky smirk. “Wanna wrestle, babe?” He asked, pushing himself off the floor to stand.

Before Lizzie could tell Scout to fuck off, the Demo spoke for her. “Leave the lass alone, boy. She’s trying to clean.” He scolded, noticing the demon’s pointed irritation.

“Nonsense!” Soldier barked, stomping over to Lizzie, He grabbed her by the arm and yanked her over to the mat, ignoring the girl’s surprised yelp. “That’s sissy work! The ring is where you become a real man!” He practically threw her down on the wrestling mat.

“Soldier!” Demo yelled, rushing over to help Lizzie up. “Ye can’t just toss people around like that!”

Elizabeth was frustrated, to say the least. She allowed Demo to help her to her feet. She gave the Soldier a forced smile. “Thanks, Soldier.” She said through gritted teeth. “But I have to finish my chores.”

She stiffened when she felt an arm loop around her shoulder. “Come on,” Scout pulled her closer. “Just one round.”

Lizzie was about to snap the Bostonian in half, but a thought suddenly came to her. Her angered expression melted into a devious sneer. “Alright, Scout. I’ll play.” She removed herself from his grasp. “Let’s make a bet too.”

Scout’s eyes lit up. “Sure, how much?”

The demon shook her head. “It won’t be about money.” A sickening grin came to her face. “If I win, I get to use you as a guinea pig for my first experiment with Doctor.” She relished in watching the color drain from the runner’s face. “But if you win, I’ll be your personal slave for a day. I’ll clean whatever you want and do anything for you.” She realized what this meant and quickly clarified herself before Scout could even open his mouth. “Within reason, of course.” She crossed her arms, a determined look on her face.

Scout went quiet and seemed to be thinking it over. Eventually, he nodded with an eager smile on his face. “Deal.” He crouched slightly into a defensive stance. Demo plopped himself down on the couch, beer in hand, to watch the show. Meanwhile, Soldier was acting as the referee again. 

“Alright, ready! One!” The American counted.

Lizzie made the extremely smart, and definitely not stupid decision not to use her powers. She wanted this fight to be fair and square. It’ll also be even funnier when Scout inevitably loses.

“Two!”

She saw the runner adjusting his stance, but she stayed in a more casual looking stance. She didn’t need to get ready. She was totally way stronger.

“Three!”

In the blink of an eye, Lizzie was on the floor before she could even process Scout’s movement. She growled and turned her body, kicking and flailing. She only momentarily succeeded in pushing Scout off, but he easily overpowered her. He twisted her around and held her arms behind her back with one hand, kneeling on her legs. His hand was pressing her face into the floor.

Demo hollered with laughter as Soldier started to count to ten. A voice in Lizzie’s head told her to just use her superstrength and slam Scout through the cement. But her vision turned blue and all she could sense was _Pride_. Unfortunately, only when Soldier reached ten did she realize that the _Pride_ she sensed was coming from her.

Scout jumped off of the demon, holding his hands in the air triumphantly. “I win! I freakin’ win!” He cheered, jumping up and down. Elizabeth let out a groan as she rolled over onto her back, staring up at the ceiling as _Pride_ fell away and she was left feeling humiliated. She saw Soldier come into view and looked away to avoid his strict gaze.

“You’re out, son!” She could feel Soldier’s spit hit her as he screamed down at her about how she wasn’t a real man.

“ _Ahem_.”

Soldier suddenly backed off and the room turned silent. Stepping into Lizzie’s field of vision, Medic bent down to give his assistant a mocking smile. “How has your day been?” He asked.

“I hate you,” Lizzie mumbled, reaching up to wipe the spit from her face. The doctor held out his hand and she swallowed the last of her _Pride_ down, taking his hand to stand up. “Did you see what happened?” She asked, already knowing the answer.

Her doctor nodded, ignoring Scout’s enthusiastic retelling of the events that just occurred. “I walked in just as _Herr_ Scout pinned you. It was quite amusing to watch.” He chuckled, leading Lizzie out of the room.

“Don’t forget, sweetheart! You’re _my_ slave tomorrow!” Scout shouted right as the doors behind them shut.

“Don’t ask,” Lizzie mumbled as Medic’s face changed into one of interest. The doctor shrugged, leading his assistant to his lab.

Walking through the medical wing was not a comfortable time for the average person. It was always colder, both in temperature and environment. The warm tones of the wooden walls disappeared and cement took their place. The flooring was tiled and if one was barefoot, the cold would send shivers up their spine.

But for Lizzie, it was lovely. Most likely because it was a stark contrast to her previous place of work. No hellish fires devouring souls. Just shades of gray with the occasional RED logo popping out.

As they entered the lab, the demon strode over to a drawer and opened it to retrieve a pair of gloves for her doctor. “So, what will we be cutting open today, Doctor?” She asked, handing the gloves over. She wheeled out the instrument tray and laid out the proper sanitized surgical equipment. Normally, the tools were blood-stained and rusty, simply because Medic never felt he had time for such trivial cleaning. But after Lizzie became more adjusted with her new job, she started to take care of the small details like this more often. Most of the time without Medic’s guidance. Recently, she ordered new surgical tools from Mann Co, along with better, more air-tight jars to store organs.

Medic pulled down the ceiling-mounted Medigun and turned it on to let it “heat up” so to speak. While his assistant set up his tools, he grabbed a cadaver from the room next door. It was essentially a morgue with ten different bodies laying out on gurneys in bags. Some were dead, and others were merely sedated. He passed a few of them to reach one body in the corner, his breath coming out in visible puffs from the coldness of the room. The body he wanted was not only alive but was starting to stir. He grabbed it and hoisted it over his shoulder, taking it back to the main lab.

Lizzie did a double-take at the body. “It’s awake.” She had never seen Medic play with a conscious subject before. “Won’t it fight back?” She asked, rushing to the surgery table to prepare the straps.

Medic shrugged. “How should I know?” He slammed the bag down, causing the human inside to let out a loud groan. He unzipped it, peeling the bag away and tossing it to the ground. The person, a young man, was still a bit dazed from not only the sedative but being tossed down. This gave Lizzie time to tie him down with the leather straps attached to the table. The man’s legs were spread with his hands tied together above his head.

“Huh, he’s still out of it.” Lizzie grabbed a stethoscope off the tray. She listened to his heartbeat, too focused to notice that Medic had yet to take charge. “His heart rate is slow, most likely due to the sedative. It might take a while for him to completely wake up. Should I give him an epinephrine injection, Doctor?” Before Medic could even answer, she had already grabbed a small vial of epinephrine from a drawer. She stuck a hypodermic needle in and pulled the liquid from the container. When she was done, that was only when she noticed Medic had not responded. She looked back at him, needle in hand. “Is something wrong, Doctor?”

Medic was staring hard at the nurse, watching her closely. “ _Nein._ ” He simply replied but grabbed a clipboard off his desk to write something down.

Lizzie glanced at her needle, and then back at him. “So… should I give him the dose or not?”

“Up to you. This is your session.” He replied, not looking up from his clipboard. “Whatever you think is best.”

The demon stood there, surprised at his words. Medic was always so possessive and controlling of his experiments, so it was a bit of a shock that he relinquished full control with no warning. “Um… uh… may I ask why, sir?” She set the needle down on the tray.

Medic looked up at her over his glasses. “Well, I promised I would train you, so I am going to take notes on your methods to give you constructive criticism afterward.” He gave her a smile before returning to his notes.

Lizzie looked back down at the needle, her eyes roaming to the other tools. She reached for the needle, but then changed her mind. She then reached towards a scalpel but shook her head no, her hand retreating. She did this a few more times before a loud sigh interrupted her.

“Nurse,” Medic set down his clipboard, adjusting his glasses, “is something the matter?” He had a feeling this might happen.

“It’s just,” Lizzie glanced down at the tools again with a worried look, “I don’t know what to do. What if I ruin the body or something worse? I just don’t want to mess this up.” Her foot tapped and she was wringing her hands.

Medic sighed again, walking over to his assistant and placing a hand on her shoulder to steady her. “Elizabeth,” He gave her a knowing look, “before I told you this experiment was under your control, you were already one step ahead of me. You had retrieved my gloves, you brought out all the necessary equipment, and you knew to give the subject an adrenaline injection. So, tell me, why do you question yourself now? Even though you are perfectly capable of handling this.”

Lizzie looked down at her hands, thinking over Medic’s words. After some time, she let out a sigh and looked back up at Medic with a grateful smile. “I don’t know. It was silly of me.” She admitted, blushing out of embarrassment.

The doctor chuckled, giving her shoulder a pat before walking away to grab his clipboard. “Yes, it was. Now, please continue.” He leaned against his desk and watched.

Elizabeth looked towards the tray, this time grabbing the needle without hesitation. She pulled the tray to sit next to the table and snapped her fingers, red gloves similar to Medic’s appearing on her hands. Without any care towards her dazed subject, she jammed the needle into his thigh, injecting him instantly.

After a few minutes, the man suddenly let out a gasp and his eyes shot open as his body twitched. He was breathing fast and his eyes darted all over the room. As he adjusted to his surroundings, Lizzie placed little suctions on his head and chest with wires connection the cups to a machine to monitor his vitals. “W-What’s… what’s going on? Where am I?” He asked, his head turning to look around. “Am I in the hospital?”

Lizzie snapped her fingers to get her subject’s attention. “No. You’re in a mercenary base in the middle of nowhere.” She reached into a drawer under the table to grab some measuring tape.

“What? A base?” He watched Elizabeth measure the length of his limbs and torso. After some time, he slowly realized what base she was talking about. “You said a mercenary base. You mean those crazy assholes terrorizing our town?” When Lizzie gave him a cheerful smile and a nod, he started to struggle to get up, but finally noticed his restraints. “H-Hey. Why am I tied down? What’s going on?!” He started to shout, yanking at the straps.

Lizzie raised her hand and gave him a hard slap, the sound echoing in the lab, and the man let out a yelp. “Will you shut up? Hell, no wonder Doctor rarely uses conscious patients.” She grabbed a bone saw off the table, turning it to make it glint in the light. “Maybe taking away your arm will shut you up.” She said it so casually with no malice.

The man’s eyes widened and the heart monitor beeped faster. “N-No. Please! I’ll do anything! Let me go! Please!” He continued to beg, tears pricking the corners of his eyes.

Lizzie grabbed the man by the hair and yanked him, causing a sharp pinch in his shoulders as the restraints kept him still. “Did you not hear what I just said? It’d be smart of you to shut your mouth.” She rolled her eyes when the man nodded, letting go of his hair. She then looked at her bone saw, a smirk coming onto her face. “But that arm thing was a good idea. In fact…” She set the saw down to grab something out of the same drawer she took the epinephrine vial from. She reached in and pulled out a bottle of lidocaine. She filled a needle with it and walked back to her subject. “Let’s do something fun.” She injected the man several times to cut off feeling at the points where his limbs met his torso.

The man was breathing faster now and he let out a pathetic whimper. “I can’t… I can’t feel-”

“Yeah, yeah. I know.” Lizzie grabbed something from her tray. “Lift your head or I crack it open.” She growled, smiling when her subject complied. She placed a leather strap under his head and pulled it straight. On both ends of the strap were double-pronged hooks. She roughly took ahold of the man’s jaw, forcing the hooks in to keep his mouth open. Then, with a pair of forceps, she grabbed his tongue. “Say _aah_.” She giggled, pulling his tongue out as far as she could, picking up a scalpel with her free hand. She heard footsteps coming towards her and felt Medic’s presence looking over her shoulder. Her smile stretched to impossible lengths, revealing her terrifying fangs. “Hopefully this'll teach you to shut up.” She brought the scalpel to the tongue and started to cut away.

The man’s screams of pain were a symphony to the demon's ears. Her eyes glowed red as she sliced through the tongue, blood pouring from the man’s mouth and slipping down his throat, causing him to gurgle. She looked to her right and saw that Medic had already grabbed a mason jar filled with a preserving liquid. She set the tongue inside, hearing him clap the lid down to be placed in the fridge. The subject’s screams turned into sobs as he choked on the blood. 

“Swallow and breathe through your nose. I can sew it back on later, but I won’t if you're dead.” Lizzie instructed. After a few moments, the man forced himself to swallow the blood and he nearly threw up. “Get over it. It doesn’t taste _that_ bad.” She scoffed, setting her bloodied scalpel down to grab the bone saw. “Now, let’s start with your right arm.” Her grin returned as she held up the saw.

After a few hours of limb removal and some use of the Medigun, the still alive subject was unconscious on the table. He was nothing but a torso with a head, laying in a pool of blood. Elizabeth was placing the limbs in the fridge under the BLU Spy’s head. She ignored his pleas for death and shut the door, accidentally leaving bloodstains on the handle but that could be cleaned in a bit. She removed her gloves and tossed them in the sink to rinse off later.

“So… how did I do?” She asked, bouncing eagerly on her feet. Her chest and stomach were stained with blood while her hair was coming undone from its bun. A nervous, yet hopeful look was on her face.

Medic flipped a page over to look over his notes one last time. “Good, but a few criticisms.” He couldn’t help but smile at his assistant’s eagerness. He tapped a pen on his clipboard as he spoke. “Next time, instead of wasting the lidocaine, just sever the nerve roots on his spinal column. I will show you how tomorrow.” When Lizzie nodded in response, he continued. “This is my fault since I did not warn you of this training ahead of time, but you should take some of his blood a few days before surgery. His body will produce more, but some extra blood on hand will prevent any accidental deaths.” He set the clipboard down on his desk. “ _Und_ sit your subject up next time you remove a tongue. They can drown from the excess blood, but you were lucky he listened through the pain.”

“Yes, Doctor.” Lizzie nodded, her enthusiasm curbed only slightly.

Medic looked her up and down. “But for your first time, you did very well. We will continue where we left off tomorrow. I don’t want your first experiment to stretch into the night. Besides, you have morning chores to do. Now, go wash up. Tomorrow, you will help me with a body as usual, but I will be explaining what to do.”

Lizzie nodded again, a proud grin on her face. “Yes, Doctor. Thank you, Doctor.” She couldn’t help but let out a high-pitched squeal. “It was sooooo fun! And sooooo satisfying! I don’t even care about the battle anymore.” She jumped up and down in place, clapping her hands giddily. “And I have so many more ideas for potential experiments. I can’t wait!”

Her doctor chuckled at her excitement. “Calm down, Nurse. It has only been your first day. Do not get ahead of yourself.” He waited until Lizzie stopped bouncing to continue. “But again, you did very well. You deserve a good night’s rest.”

The opening of the double doors interrupted their conversation. The pair turned their attention to the RED Spy walking in.

“Good evening. I hope I am not interrupting.” Cigarette in hand, Spy stepped over a puddle of blood on the floor to get to Medic. “Demon.” He grumbled with an annoyed look as he passed her.

“Whore.” The demon gave the man a threatening smile full of fangs, but it did not phase him.

“Elizabeth! Don’t-” Medic stopped lecturing Lizzie when he realized what Spy had said. “Wait… you know?” He asked with an incredulous look.

“Of course I know, _Docteur._ I know everything.” Spy took a drag from his cigarette as he stepped between his lover and the demon, pushing her away.

Medic sighed and rolled his eyes. “I suppose it was only a matter of time.” He sounded exasperated.

Before Spy could give him a snarky reply, the cigarette suddenly disappeared from his fingertips. He blinked, stunned for a second before a voice interrupted his thoughts.

“No smoking in the lab, whore.” Elizabeth had teleported the cigarette into her hand and she tossed it into her mouth. “Hmmm,” She hummed, “smoky!” She turned away to go wash up. “Goodnight, Doctor!” She waved back to the Medic as she left.

Spy let out a huff as Medic laughed at his misery. He glared at his lover and rolled his eyes. “I can just leave, you know.” He grumbled.

The doctor’s laughs died down, but he still snickered as he pulled Spy into his arms. “ _Du bist so süß_.” He gave him a peck on the cheek.

“I will kill you one day.” Spy continued to fuss as Medic led him into the bedroom. “Shouldn’t she have cleaned up the body?” He asked, looking back at the bloodied, limbless man.

Medic followed his gaze and swore under his breath. “ _Scheiße_.” Now it was Spy’s turn to laugh. 

“I will be waiting for you. But don’t take too long.” The Frenchman cupped Medic’s face and kissed him hard, showing him what he might miss out on if he wasn’t fast enough. He let go, smirking at the whine Medic let out when he pulled away. 

The German quickly cleared his throat while Spy stepped into the bedroom, a faint blush on his face. He looked at the body with an aggravated sigh, rolling up his sleeves to clean up. He grabbed a mop out of the broom closet and a bucket. However, before he attempted to fill the bucket with water, a thought occurred to him. He could always just grab Lizzie to do it for him, but a voice in his head reminded him of how well she did during her training.

“Perhaps she deserves a reward.” He mumbled to himself, picking up the bucket to bring to the sink.

Another voice in his head told him that she always cleans up, so what’s one more time?

But that voice went ignored.


	6. Forgotten Item on a Mercenary Shopping List

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if you noticed, but this fic is going to be more episodic with an overarching plot peeking in once and while... for now at least. This chapter was written by the amazing TheeWrites! Check out their tumblr and their TF2 podcast, REDCast! https://theewrites-tf2.tumblr.com/
> 
> This chapter is gonna be more slice of lifey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is set a few days after the last chapter, but I felt there was no need for an exact date since it could happen anywhere in the story. Enjoy!

_July, 1969_

* * *

Driving on the freeway with a coffin shoved into the back (and one strapped to the top of the same vehicle) was actually not as interesting as it may sound to the normal and sane. In fact, for the three in the vehicle, this was a normal monthly errand, much like groceries or a trip to the car wash... Although, grave-robbing was a bit of a messier, and fairly _smellier_ errand. 

Culprits of this particular errand were casually rumbling along the highway, occasionally glancing back to make sure the non-living fourth party in the van didn’t roll out. They were always a mess to shove back in, and the medical “professional” in the van always whined if his new test subjects were damaged on the trip back to the base. 

Lizzie couldn’t help but glance back as a pothole shook the entire van, sable brown eyes narrowed. “If we can’t possibly have a budget for obtaining more bodies--” 

“Oh, aheh, _nein_ , we do, I just prefer going over my monthly limit.” 

“...Right, well, either way, couldn’t we invest in more duct tape to actually _secure_ them during transfer?” 

The German scientist, casually dissecting a nauseatingly grey-green finger within the lab tray on his lap, paused to look at his assistant with a sly grin on his lips. “ _Ja_ , they’re in a _box_ , _mein Freund_! They’re already secured!” 

Elizabeth rolled her eyes, offering a sigh even though a small amused smirk flitted across her face. “Haha, funny. Still, it’s not fair to whoever has to clean up, especially since it’s not our car,” she added, glancing over at the silent driver with a small apologetic smile, pointedly ignoring the knowing, amused snort the German offered. 

The Australian behind the wheel must’ve glanced at her, but she couldn’t be sure, with the dark-amber glasses that hid his eyes. “No worries, Sheila, this for a job. ‘Sides, I’ve had to clean out worse from this van, I can handle the dead--” 

“But are you sure?” Lizzie pressed, uncertainty in her voice. “I mean...I know we...I mean, _Medic_ asks a lot for your help during these supply runs, so I really don’t mind if you need help cleaning up afterward--” 

“ _Ja_ , I’m sure you don’t mind at all!” Medic cooed in a sing-song tone, glancing back with a smirk that Sniper either pointedly, or blessedly ignored, leaving Lizzie’s eyes to flash in dangerous annoyance while Medic smiled innocently. 

“Really, Nurse...” Lizzie looked back up at the call of her official class title, and she swore she caught a flicker of an upward twitch on the Australian’s face. “Don’t trouble yourself with it. It’s alright with me.” 

Lizzie smiled back in response, feeling her cheeks darken slightly as she simply nodded... About a moment passed before Medic turned in the passenger's seat to give her a raised brow, and only then did she finally turn away from the driver, blushing harder at being caught staring. She then turned to the window, dark eyes locking onto the landscape as it passed them by. It was growing dusky now, as the sun dipped beneath the horizon, and the blistering heat of New Mexico began to become a thing of the past. 

... Blistering... Oh. Wait. 

“Oh for Hell’s sake--STOP, we have to go back!” Elizabeth shouted, and the car quickly lurched to a stop, Medic giving a small growl of disapproval as his half-dissected rotten finger bounced out of the tray in his lap, and rolled out of sight. The younger woman met his gaze apologetically as he whirled on her, and she sheepishly informed him, “We uh...we, or _I_ , may have forgotten to grab the 9.80-Double Strength Acidic.” 

The German blinked, then groaned. “Are you _serious_ , we talked about it and everything--!” 

“Well, I’m _sorry_ , but I was a bit distracted... In fact, _you_ distracted me from grabbing it--!” 

“ _Oh, für die Liebe zu_ -I distracted you?! How is that even possible, we weren’t even in the same aisle!” 

“Oh, yes we were when you needed help finding the _thing_ ,” Lizzie snapped, watching as his brow furrowed in response. “ _Das Ding..._ ” Realization at her words came late, and his eyes only widened when Sniper inquired, “What ‘ _thing’_ , mate?” Medic’s eyes grew even wider, followed by an unusual reddening of his cheeks. “Nothing! Nothing to be concerned about, just some...equipment,” he insisted firmly, taking off his glasses to clean them distractedly, while Lizzie hid a smirk. 

_Heh, yeah, experiments all right..._

“It is of no importance,” Medic insisted, pointedly avoiding Sniper’s raised brow or Lizzie’s knowing smirk. “ _Mein Freund_ , I apologize for my assistant’s _incompetence_.” There was no real bite to his words, but the annoyance present was enough to make Lizzie roll her eyes. “But it is most necessary that particular volume of the acidic mixture is procured at this time.” 

Sniper drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, not immediately starting the car. “...‘M almost scared to ask, but why is it so bloody important?” 

Medic perked up immediately, perching his glasses on his face as he spoke, “Oh, now, do you remember when Scout had that horridly delightful little virus that almost knocked him from the respawn system?” 

Sniper coughed, looking a bit pale at the memory. “Eh, on second thought...I don’t wanna know.” He set the engine while the backseat passenger felt the smirk slide off her face, feeling a prick of guilt. 

“Apologies, Sniper,” Lizzie called, shifting in her seat. “I-I should've paid more attention... Really, if you’re tired and want to get back to base, I can run back and--” 

“It’s fine, Sheila,” Sniper interrupted her, keeping his attention on the road ahead. “Let’s just hurry up and get the job done, yeah? Don’t want to use up the whole weekend.” The backseat passenger slowly wilted back into her seat at the sharp note in his voice, quieting down as they rumbled off down the road from whence they came... 

...Until the Medic whirled around, giving her a stony glare before hissing out in German, “ _Are you out of your_ _mind?! I can’t believe you... You can’t just bring up something so personal in front of a fellow_ _co-worker!_ ” 

Lizzie blinked, then scowled back lightly, eyes flashing blood red for a minute. “ _Oh please, it wasn’t that serious!_ ” she shot back, leaning down and gently patting along the van-floor in search of a missing half-dissected rotted finger. “ _And I can’t believe_ you _let me forget about the acidic mixture in the first place, you’ve been going on and on about it for weeks!_ ”Her eyes flashed again, and she smirked lightly as she held up the disembodied appendage, dangling it just out of Medic’s reach. “ _Of course, not as long as you’ve been going on about that oh_ so _'necessary’..._ gift _for you and Spy--_ ” 

The finger was snatched out of her grasp with a snappish growl and a curse, and Lizzie chuckled lightly as she sat back in her seat, arms crossed. Her smirk faded as her gaze flickered back to the silent driver, who had kept his eyes on the road throughout the mini-argument between the passengers. Lizzie let out a small sigh, sinking lower in her seat and tearing her gaze away from him as they began their long, long drive back to the shops, trying to ignore the hint of guilt inside her. 

_Why are you feeling guilty?_ she berated herself silently. _You’re causing sleep deprivation, essentially, human misery. That’s funny, not guilt-inducing._

Funny, yeah, that’s it... Lizzie glanced back over to him, mouth pursing in a thin line. 

_Very funny..._

To be a cashier in Teufort, Lizzie decided, took major, major, _major_ , guts. Not only dealing with the semi-mental population daily, not _only_ cleaning up after the daily bullet holes or rocket-craters that now littered the town (that most locals turned into swimming pools to try and look on the bright side), she had to give credit where credit was due. To be a minimum-wage worker, and still have the nerve to say no to a Teufort mercenary. And a _Medic_ , of all people. 

“So, you are really not going to look in the back?” The ex-doctor scoffed with crossed arms, while the teen behind the counter, still not looking up once, lazily crossed out another word in his puzzle. 

“Can’t, sir. As the only employee on the premises, I can’t leave my register unattended,” he drawled, his flat and rehearsed dialogue only causing Medic to frown deeper. 

“We are the only customers HERE--” 

“You’re also the customers who have been seen, multiple times stealing this very register--” 

“Besides the point, it will take hardly ten minutes!” 

The teen shrugged, turning back to his puzzle and leaving Medic fuming. Lizzie leaned forward with a confused whisper, “Why play this legally, can’t we just go and storm the back?” 

Medic sighed, reaching up to straighten his glasses. “If only, but I’m afraid after last week’s incident at the local brewery, we’ve run out of funds for paying bail.” 

The disguised demon blinked, then sighed in irritation. _Dammit, Scout._ Glancing over the late-shift worker, then towards the back of the general shop, to the EMPLOYEE’S ONLY closet, Lizzie tugged her superior out of hearing range, lowering her voice. 

“Cause some mayhem--some that won’t get you _immediately_ arrested--I’ll run back there and grab the acidic, problem solved.” 

Medic furrowed his brow thoughtfully, then gave her a nod. “Hm...I believe Archimedes can fly here with the flock two to three minutes after hearing my call, that should provide a decent distraction...though I imagine those ridiculous _health inspectors_ may close down the shop in the following days, _überwältigte, überbezahlte Regierung Heuchler..._ ” 

Lizzie rolled her eyes with a smirk. “Such a great loss. I’ll be sure to grab extras then if that’s the case.” 

She turned to go and wait for a signal to go inside when his gloved hand grabbed hers. “Ah, wait. It would be a wise idea to bring along _Herr_ Sniper.” 

Blinking, she turned to face him with wide eyes. “What, why--?” 

“The cases are heavy, you could use the extra hand, _ja_?” It was innocently suggested, accompanied by a guiltless smile as well, but Lizzie could see the sharp teeth behind that grin, and she frowned right back. 

“I think I can handle it, I don’t need help,” she insisted, and Medic gave her a look. 

“No, you don’t, but humor me and clear up your guilty conscience with your co-worker. You are _ein Dämon_ , I thought you weren’t supposed to have humanistic emotions,” he chided, and the demon woman turned her gaze away, offering a grumble under her breath in Latin. 

“...You won’t drop this, will you?” 

“ _Nein_ !” God, she could practically _taste_ the smirk without even looking at him. 

Lizzie sighed dramatically, shaking him off and heading to the exit. “Don’t sound so cheerful about it!” she called over her shoulder, slipping outside to the waiting van. 

Faltering in her step at the sight of a hat slid low over the face of the slumbering Australian, she paused by the window, chewing on her lip as her eyes flashed crimson, conflicted. With Medic’s miniature lecture ringing in her ears, she shoved down that shred of humanistic guilt and reached in to shake Sniper awake. 

Her arm was yanked inside before she even tapped him, and she saw the flash of a blade before she yelped loudly, “No no no, it’s just me, it’s Nurse!” 

Sniper paused, kukri suspended just above her elbow, and Lizzie took the moment to yank her arm back, shoving her hand into her coat pocket before he could see the ebony claws that had emerged in her moment of panic. Offering a sheepish smile as she stepped back to let him exit the vehicle, she coughed into her other hand. “Apologies, I didn’t mean to startle you.” 

His glasses were pulled away, leaving the Australian to sigh under breath and rub the sleep from his eyes as he sheathed his blade. “S’alright,” he grumbled, putting his glasses back on his face and fixing his attention on her. “Past experiences with the bloody Spies keep me on my toes.” 

Lizzie offered a small chuckle in response, “Heh, I’m sure...”

“...So...?” 

“So...?” 

“Did you come out to say hello or did you have something for me?” 

_Oh_ , Lizzie felt an urge to face-palm. “Right, uh...sorry, I just came out to...ask you to...uh...” Whatever she was going to say died on her lips, as the white mass in the horizon started becoming larger and larger. At a more focused glance, the huge flock of doves was barreling towards the location of the shop, and the two mercenaries watching from the car in unsurprised silence as the door of the shop creaked open, with the doves crowding into the building immediately after. 

“...M’assuming that’s a sort of distraction...?” 

“...Of sorts. Anyway...come help?” 

Dodging all the flying birds that had filled the shop, along with Medic’s maniacal laughter and the distinct whimpering of an underpaid worker whose shop was just filled with dozens and dozens of birds, was an _experience_ for sure. Once inside the supply room, it became much quieter and mildly calmer, as Lizzie ruffled through crates while occasionally plucking left-over feathers from her hair. 

“It should have a human hazard sticker on it,” Lizzie called, shoving aside a container of Extra-Strength BONK! “...Also, as a side-note, I suggest not breaking the container. And if you do, hope it doesn’t get on your skin, or you may not _have_ skin anymore, heh...” 

“Now I _really_ don’t want to know how Medic used that stuff on Scout,” Sniper grunted, now shoving crates to the side more carefully than he had previously, and Lizzie couldn’t help but glance over again at the stony edge to his tone. Chewing on her lip, she waved her hand and the red mist that settled over the crate she was attempting to lift, slowly levitated and moved the crate out of the way for her, while the Australian remained oblivious to the inhuman power. 

“...I’m sorry,” she finally blurted out, tucking some hair behind her ear and turning back to the next crate, cheeks darkening as she heard him pause behind her. 

“...For what?” 

“For...for...urgh, I don’t know,” Lizzie admitted slowly, tapping her nails on the lid as she weighed her words. “I feel like I...well, mostly Medic, but I _am_ his assistant, so I suppose I _legally_ take partial responsibility... Anyway, I feel like we’ve been dragging you back and forth today, and--let’s be honest, our errand runs are never _easy_ \--so...” Sorry? Thank you? Human niceties were foreign on a demon, let alone a demon secretary, _let alone_ a demon secretary turned mercenary. 

“We'll...well, _I’ll_ owe you a nap. Or at least buy you lunch to make up for it.” Bribery, the middle ground not only of the nine-circles, but also a decent middle ground between ‘thank you’ and ‘sorry.’ 

There was a lengthy pause, before the scraping of wood along the ground, heading her way. “You’re worried about me, Sheila?” Sniper finally asked, and Lizzie turned at the note of amusement in his tone, and she scoffed in response, “Obviously I’m worried. I’m a medical professional, and if you fall asleep at the wheel due to overworking on _my_ part...” 

She trailed off at the sound of a low chuckle, and he shook his head, offering the barest hint of a smile. “Nurse, I appreciate it...but I think I can handle long hours, mate. Long as you help have my back, it’s no worries, deal?” He looked over at him from over his glasses, and Lizzie couldn’t help but smile back a bit more brightly. 

“...Sheila?” Lizzie decided it would be smart to invest in a timer to keep from staring too long as she coughed, turning back to the crate he had pushed over, the human hazard sticker glowing neon-yellow in the dimly lit room. 

“Sorry, you’re, uh...complexion looked pale. Perhaps I should drive on the way home?” Reminding herself not to show off her strength, she huffed slightly as she heaved the crate up, while Sniper scoffed dryly. 

“You and Doc together in the front seats? Your gabbing would crash us in two minutes flat.” Nurse gave a small gasp of mock-outrage, before flashing a smirk as she headed towards the exit.

“He can ride in the coffin with our newest patients, lucky bastard. Probably would get ahead on his research that way, too--” 

Elizabeth stopped right before the door, smile falling as she caught sight of red and blue flashing lights from the crack under the door. She pursed her lips, glancing up at Sniper. 

“...Wanna make a run for it and leave the doc to handle it? I’ll drive, you can crash in the back.” 

“Yep, but only if you promise not to crash my van... And I ain’t sleeping on those coffin cushions.” 

“Oh, you’re missing out! For pillows for dead people, they are _insanely_ comfortable...” 

Sniper made a soft, disbelieving, and likely slightly disturbed, chuckle, and even as they were soon making a break for the front door amidst birds, Medic’s maniacal laughter and proclamations of avian divinity, and the Teufort police force, Lizzie couldn’t help but smile the entire time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I am open to feedback and critiques!


	7. Workplace Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter art by Scrapnick! She is doing commissions! You can find her info right here! https://scrapnick.tumblr.com/ I highly suggest commissioning her! She is a doll and is amazing! Also, she's making a wonderful comic of her own tf2 OC, which you can find here! https://scrapnickstf2comicupdates.tumblr.com/ It's awesome!

_July, 1969_

* * *

“I still don’t see why _I_ have to do this.” Lizzie glared at her reflection in the window, cringing at the sight of messy hair covered in glitter.

Engineer rolled his eyes, taking another sip of beer. He was relaxing in the shade of his umbrella, feet propped up on his reclined chair. “Because Scout’s better at hidin’.” He set his drink down on the little tray attached to his chair, folding his hands behind his head. “Now hurry up. I got a meeting with Miss Pauling later and I’d rather not show up with my truck sparklin’.”

The disguised demon turned her head away from the truck she was washing to glare at Engie. She let out an aggravated sigh, scrubbing vigorously at a stubborn spot of glitter. “I swear to Sa-God when I find that asshole…” Her words trailed off as she muttered graphic threats under her breath.

As a couple of hours passed, she scrubbed and rinsed until not a single piece of glitter was left on the paint. Her hair was matt with sweat, which the glitter stuck to like a magnet. Her chest and stomach were soaked with water, which made her shirt stick to her skin uncomfortably. She stepped back to show her Texan friend the job she did. “Tada.” She presented in a monotone voice, looking tired and done for the day.

Engineer pushed himself off the chair, glancing at his watch, “Perfect timing too.” He grinned at the pathetic looking nurse, reaching over to tussle her hair. “Good job, Liz. I’ll be sure the doc won’t be hearin’ about this.” He promised, stepping into the truck and shoving the keys in the ignition.

Lizzie’s eyes lit up, a bright smile formed on her face. “Really?” She clasped her hands together.

Engie nodded with a warm smile. “You’ve been punished enough.” He chuckled, giving her a wave as he pulled out of the base.

The demon returned the wave, watching him drive off until he disappeared from her sights. She put away the soap and bucket in the garage, wheeling up the hose. She made a mental note to ask Engie about his favorite foods later. Staring at the security camera tucked into the corner of the room, she twitched her finger, a red aura blanketing the camera and turning it away. With a casual snap of her fingers, her messy appearance was fixed in the blink of any eye. The camera turned back into place as she went inside the base.

That was when Lizzie heard the sound of footsteps abruptly running away. She let out a growl as her face twisted into an expression of anger. She dashed down the hall after the source of the noise, catching up in no time. She grabbed Scout by the arm and shoved him against the wall, her lips curling into a twisted smile as she heard him let out a squeak.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t rip out your vocal cords with my teeth.” She wrapped a hand around his throat and squeezed slightly.

Scout instinctively reached up to pry the hands away. “Look, I didn’t have a choice! Engie’s already pissed off at me ‘cause I switched his gear lube with jello! I’ll make it up to ya! I promi- _ugh_ !” He gurgled as Lizzie’s gripped tightened to cut off his circulation. She stared at him hard for a long minute then reluctantly dropped him. The boy collapsed to his knees as he coughed violently. “Tha-... _cough_ … Thank you!” He held his throat as he hacked.

Lizzie rolled her eyes. “Quit exaggerating. I didn’t choke you that hard.” She grabbed his arm and pulled him up to his feet. At the sight of him rubbing his neck, she felt a foreign feeling twist in her gut. She brushed it off, crossing her arms at the boy. “So, what did you have in mind to make it up to me?”

Scout let go of his sore neck with a surprised expression. “Uh… you want that right now?” He asked, shifting from one foot to the other. He let out a sigh when Lizzie gave him a firm nod and looked around the hallway as if he was searching for what he could do. After a few moments of silence, he suddenly lit up with an idea, a grin spreading on his face. “Gotcha!” He reached out, grabbing onto Lizzie’s arm and running off with her.

Elizabeth, tired from dealing with bullshit for the day, just rolled with it. It would be more mentally exhausting to put up a fight anyway. She allowed herself to be dragged off towards whatever inane activity Scout has planned for them.

To her surprise, she was led back outside to the company van. “Hop in, slave!” Scout exclaimed, a shit-eating grin on his face. His grin immediately turned into a frightened look accompanied by a sudden yelp as he dodged a punch from the nurse. “Hey! What the hell was that for?!” He dodged another punch by jumping into the front seat.

“You just called me your slave! I am nobody’s slave or servant.” Lizzie grabbed Scout’s foot, dragging him closer to hit his face.

Scout’s hands flew up to shield his face. “Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! You owe me! Remember our wrestling match?” He poked his face out from behind his hands, eyeing up the demon, whose fist was lowering at the reminder. He smirked and blew his tongue at her. “Nyeh!” He ignored the leg pinching Lizzie gave him at his childish antics. “Now,” he sat up, pointing to the ceiling with his proclamation, “to the gym!”

Lizzie let out an annoyed sigh, circling the van to step into the passenger seat. With a huff, she crossed her arms, pouting indignantly as Scout pulled out of the base. She stared out the window, feeling the breeze hit her since the door was missing. “I didn’t even know we had a gym.” She remarked as the van turned onto the main road.

“Well…. It’s not actually a gym.” Scout explained, “It’s a building we use for training when we get a new gun or some other shit. But we put in some gym stuff to make it more fun.”

“How come it’s not attached to the base?” Liz placed her feet up on the dash and crossed her hands behind her head.

“Prolly ‘cause we just didn’t have any room. All the bases, battlegrounds, and other shit are just old abandoned stuff that Mann Co. fixed up. Miss Pauling said they didn’t wanna waste any more money on us with building up-to-standards bases and crap.” Scout shrugged. “I bet if they did, everything would be super close to each other and it’d be a hell of a lot easier to get to places.”

Lizzie let out a noise of confirmation. “Ah, I see. That explains why the base is so…”

“Gross? Broken? So dangerous that it’ll fall on our heads in our sleep?” The Bostonian suggested with a chuckle.

The demon snickered. “I was gonna say old, but that works too.” She noticed that they were approaching a large facility on the side of the road. “How often do you guys use this place?” She asked as Scout parked the van off the road.

“About once a week, I guess. We got some dumbbells and a couple of weights back at the base, but it’s not as good as this place.” Scout hopped out of the van with Liz, leading her inside. “So, can you guess why we’re here?” He asked with a cheeky grin.

Lizzie rolled her eyes at his face. “You wanted to see me workout all hot and sweaty for your spank bank?” She punched his arm, but not as hard as she usually did.

Scout let out a pained grunt, but his smile was still there. “Ha! No. It’s cause you suck at fighting.” He opened the double doors to the training center, revealing a massive room full of all sorts of interesting things.

Lizzie was too distracted by the room to retort. She looked all around the room to take in her surroundings. There were crates and barrels lining the walls. Red-colored speakers hung on pillars. There were rows of orange and black striped tape being used as markers for some sort of training. A payload sat idly in the farthest back of the room with some barriers to use as cover.

“So, you ready to train?” Scout interrupted her staring. The demon turned around to look at him, seeing him rummaging through a set of lockers by the door. The young man pulled out a whistle and a timer.

“Train for what?” Liz asked, feeling a bit nervous at what’s to come.

“For anything. You work with mercs and ya gotta learn how to fight. Otherwise, you’re just some useless damsel in distress we gotta watch out for.” Scout walked over with a teasing smirk on his face.

Lizzie scoffed. “Shut up.” She looked around the room again. “Did you plan this for me?”

“Nah, Doc did this.” Scout explained as Lizzie leaned against a wooden banister. “He asked Soldier to do this, but I volunteered instead.” He fiddled with the timer to figure out how it worked.

The demon gave Scout a curious look. “Why?” She asked, suspicious that this was all some ploy to ask her out. 

“Cause when I first joined, Soldier was the one who trained me.” Scout had an annoyed look on his face as he recalled the memory. “And lemme tell you, he’s not somebody you want trainin’ ya when you got no experience with fightin’. I was lucky that I knew how to fight from back in Boston, but _you_? You wouldn’t last a day.”

He was quite upfront about all this, which shocked Liz. She figured he’d be more gentle considering that he’s been real flirty with her this past month. Not only that, but she was also offended at what he said. “Hey! I _totally_ would last!” She exclaimed with a huff. 

Scout snickered. “Sure ya would.” He set the timer to stopwatch mode. “Look, Liz. I’m gonna be honest with ya. You’re outta shape.”

Lizzie felt like punching him again, but a lot harder this time. “No, I’m not! I’m super toned and stuff!” She rolled up her sleeve and flexed her arm. “See?” She expected Scout to apologize, but instead, he merely reached out and poked her bicep, revealing the poor muscle mass. The demon blushed hard and quickly rolled down her sleeve.

“Told ya. You ain’t got no muscle, which is kinda weird since you punch like someone who’s been working out their whole life.” Scout started to poke Lizzie’s belly to reveal her lack of toned abs.

The nurse slapped his hand away, the red in her face only intensifying. However, Scout’s words did give her a much-needed reality check. This entire time, her hits had been powered by her demon magic to ensure the recipient, which was usually Scout, felt a decent amount of pain. She tested this by suddenly punching Scout in the arm, seeing that not only did her barely flinch but he didn’t even express any pain. That did make a significant dent in Lizzie’s ego and it was easy to see on her disappointed expression.

Scout reached out to pat Lizzie’s back. “It’s okay, babe. I’ll help ya get real strong.” He promised. The young woman returned his comforting smile, feeling genuinely appreciative of Scout’s help. He leaned in close, looking as if he were about to kiss her. But before she could react, he spoke in a low voice. “Now, gimme twenty laps around the room.” He ordered.

Lizzie grew confused at the sudden command. “Huh?” She immediately regretted questioning her new trainer when he blew the whistle right in her ear, causing her to shrink back.

“I said, gimme twenty laps around the room!” The boy barked, blowing the whistle again. He smirked when Lizzie stumbled into a run as he started the stopwatch.

Despite the rough start, the demon felt a strong determination rise within her. She grinned as she sprinted down the room.

“ _I’m gonna ace this shit._ ” She thought to herself.

  
  


About six laps later, she was on her hands and knees, vomiting into a bucket Scout provided her. The boy stared down at her, waving the stopwatch in her face. “Damn, you fucked that up real bad. Oh, well. Again!” He ordered, but Lizzie only retched in response.

* * *

It was well past sundown when the pair returned to the base. The van was parked next to Engineer’s truck and Scout removed the keys from the ignition. He stepped out with a cheerful whistle, circling the keys on his finger as he walked. He spotted Medic and Heavy sitting on the front porch of the base. They both seemed to be involved in an intense game of checkers. 

The young lad tossed the keys towards Heavy, to which they sailed right over his head as the giant didn’t even break his concentration from the game. “Ugh! You guys never catch it! You’d all suck at baseball!” He groaned, leaning against the porch’s banister. “Ey yo, Liz! Keep up!” He called out over his shoulder.

Elizabeth stumbled out of the truck, nearly collapsing on the ground. Her usual updo was now messy and dripping with sweat. Her legs shook as she slowly made her way towards the three mercs, hanging onto the railing for dear life as she walked up the steps to the porch. She immediately leaned against Scout, letting him support all of her weight.

Medic looked up from his game, to which Heavy took the opportunity to move a piece. “I trust the training went well?” He chuckled at his assistant’s state.

Lizzie only whined in response, burying her face into Scout’s shoulder. The Bostonian patted her back comfortingly. “Yeah, she’s kinda out of it right now.” He snickered.

“I see. Well, she better get used to it. She’s doing this every day until she is in proper shape. Then we can discuss cutting down the intensity.” The doctor turned back to the game, looking confused as his eyes darted to each piece.

“Don’t you guys usually play chess?” Scout pointed out as Lizzie continued to use him as support.

“Doktor broke board when Heavy won.” The behemoth had the decency to conceal his smug look when Medic glared at him. “How did training go? Is nurse okay?” He asked as Medic picked up a piece, only to put it back down to make a different move.

The demon slowly turned her head. “I’m sore.” She whimpered, reaching up and retying her bun with a wince as her joints protested. “Scout cheated in wrestling too.”

“I did not!” Scout denied. He suddenly grabbed her and twisted her into a headlock, grinning mischievously at her. “You just suck!” He laughed as she struggled to get free, her face turning red.

“Scout, I would appreciate it if you did not suffocate my nurse.” Medic passively chided as he finally moved a piece, cursing silently when he saw Heavy looking pleased with the move. “Now, would you be so kind as to help her to the showers?” He asked, wanting to scream when Heavy jumped his piece over three different checks.

Scout let go of Lizzie when she tapped his arm twice, giving her only a few moments to recover. He wrapped his arms around her and suddenly threw her over his shoulder, the young woman too exhausted to protest. “Yeah, yeah. Have fun losing.” He quickly went inside, hearing Medic throw a tantrum at his loss once he was alone with Heavy. “I gotta shower too, so I’ll help ya out, babe.” He said to the limp nurse hanging from his shoulder. He didn’t seem to notice the weird looks he got from the other mercs as he made his way to the showers.

He stopped at the door to the communal to open it but was interrupted when Spy walked out. The Frenchman wore nothing but his mask, an expensive-looking robe, and shower slippers. He raised an eyebrow at the demon’s state. “I see you are back from training.” He walked around Scout, gently taking Lizzie’s chin to raise her head. “For someone of your nature, you are quite weak.” He pointed out with a smirk.

“Eat shit, ash mouth,” Lizzie responded with a groan. “At least I’m not finding fun with… _medicine_.” She let out a grunt when Spy suddenly let her head drop back down.

“What the hell are you two talking about?” Scout asked as he set Lizzie down but still held her arm to support her.

There was a moment of pointed silence as Spy and Lizzie glared at each other.

“ _Nothing_.” Both parties finally responded, Spy walking off as Lizzie stuck her tongue at him.

Scout rolled his eyes. “Ignore him, Liz. You’re not weak… just… soft.” He teased to cheer her up as he poked her belly.

Instead of her usual response, which was a threat or a punch, Lizzie merely pushed Scout’s hand away with a fond smile. “Shut up, loser.” There was not a hint of malice behind her words. “Now, help me take my clothes off.”

“Really?” Scout had a flirty look on his face. “Can’t believe it took five hours of workouts to get you to say that.”

“I swear to S-God, I’ll rip your eyes out,” Lizzie replied, making both of them laugh as they went into the showers to cool down.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I was going through a real writer's block before this so sorry if this chapter is short. again, check out Scrapnick who made the art! her links are at the top of the chapter.


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